The Art of Awkwardness

Awkward: socially uncomfortable; unsure and constrained in manner; causing inconvenience...

My last post, I bitched about how much the ladies on the bus pissed me off, because of their foreign conversation at the back of the bus. Like everything in life, there's always something good about having to listen to conversations on the bus, especially if its amazingly juicy, or in this case, awkward.

On my way home, I sat near the back of the bus again. To my left was a high school couple making out in the back. Gross much, have some manners first off. But thats not what I want to talk about. On my right, was an Aboriginal woman and her "supposed" boyfriend of seven years. This woman was very outspoken and loud. She sat at the back and her boyfriend required bus fare to get home. He borrowed some money off his girlfriend, just as the bus doors closed and the bus was in motion. The woman yells out, "FUCKING WAIT!", to the bus driver. Everyone turns around to see what this rude person is on about. The man pays his fare, gets his change and sits in the front of the bus. And here begins the ongoing feud which entertained me during my bus ride home.

As the man was sitting in the front of the bus, the woman obviously is upset by this and yells from the back of the bus...

"Dennis! Now you're not gonna fucking sit next to me? After I pay for your fucking bus fare you fucking sit there and not next to me? What the fuck is this? Keep the fucking change then, you fucking gronk."

The woman started to repeat herself again, cursing at her supposed boyfriend, asking him in her rude tone why he is sitting in the front and not next to her. Then it got a bit too personal and things got highly awkward for the remaining ten or more people on the bus.

"You're fucking her aren't you?"

CRAZY WOMAN AT THE BACK OF THE BUS SAY WHAAAAT? At this point, I turned off my music and decided to listen (I know it was rude of me, but my music could not go that loud to silent her out.

"You were with her on Tuesday weren't you? And then you fucking call me on Wednesday to come over? What the fuck is up with that? You're fucking Ashley aren't you? Fuck you, you gronk."

Hmmm, this mysterious Tuesday evening woman has a name ... Ashley ;)

"Fuck you then, I'm just gonna go to the tavern tonight and get drunk. I don't need you to get drunk. The police ask about you, I tell them "Oh yeah I know Dennis, he's a troublemaker that one". You're mum calls me, yeah that's right, she knows everything bout you. She says she gives you money every Thursday and asks when you gonna move in with that Ashley. Fuck you, you gronk. And fuck her too. Go fuck your fat and ugly slut. I'll go Prospect on my own and fuck someone too, not someone who's fat and ugly."

The woman continually repeated herself over and over again. She finally got off with her boyfriend of seven years (according to her) a stop before me and everyone on the bus looks at one another and smiles =). Well that wasn't awkward! Not at all.