They wanted to know how things got to the way they are now. They called it “Experimental Procedures of the Psychotic Sub-conscience Mind of the Post-Adolescent Male.” Which was shorten in my terms to Project D, the fourth of my kind. Doctor Shipman was his name and Nancy Wright was hers. Seven hours a day silently watching their test subject. Writing notes, pretending to care, behind that tinted dark window. I didn’t see it as a problem at all. Unbelievable.

Orange mountains covered in the whitest snow unimaginable on any Alpine, Swiss or Himalayan mountain peak. Grass as green as the freshest produce on a spring morning. Unbelievable. The sea water, blue as blue, even bluer. Up from the mountain top, you could see the entire ocean floor, colourful coral even colours which may not have existed. Schools of fish creating a spectrum of rainbows. Unbelievable. And there she was, skipping happily in a white flowing gown. Hair blowing in the wind. She had lips as smooth as silk and as red as the poisonous apple you hear about in those stories. If only she was attainable. She turned her head around, blew me a kiss and dived into the ocean, I wouldn’t dare ever compare her to an animal, why degrade her, she the first rain drop of winter. So delicate, so gentle, so beautiful to observe. Unbelievable

“Doctor, what’s your analysis on him?” The doctor shook his head, wrote down more notes in his notebook and closed the door.

What was the girl up to? I had to find out. As is stood over the cliff’s edge where she gracefully leaped off, I felt the wind brushing against my pale cheek. I heard the cries in the wind calling me Steven, Steven, Steven. Tempting indeed. Slightly leaning over the cliff to see where the unattainable epitome of perfection was. Floating elegantly on the ocean’s surface. And it killed me, I wanted her so much. She wasn’t unattainable because she was taken, nor because she was “saving” herself, she was unattainable because like any males social problems, she was “out of my league”. I never even gave myself a chance, I never even chose to try. I simply gave up. Yet, I yearned to brush my hand on her velvet like cheek, wake up to her sweet flowery scent every morning, just to taste the forbidden fruit, just once. The sexual vibe enhanced me, energized me to do it. And off I went, feet first into the blue ocean, swimming among the millions of fish, dancing to the soothing sounds of the ocean around me. And there she was. Unbelievable. Just as any movie or children’s book would describe. She looked like a living mermaid, hair red unlike any other shade, lips pierced with the darkest shade of red. I could just imagine a pair of fins; green preferably, moving flowingly with the ocean current. Unbelievable.

“Doctor he has been doing that for ten minutes. Should we do something?” The doctor simply shook his head, wrote in his notebook and closed the door.

She took my hand and we swam into the deepest blue of the ocean. The strain of the constant kicking to keep up with her pace did not bother me, for all I was concerned about was spending what may be the only time with her, to the best of my ability. No pain, no searing injury could ever withstand my yearn for her touch. As she held onto me corals of red, yellow and purple were visible. Fish of every possible colour were swimming by our side. Red with black stripes, blue with green spots and orange with yellow swirls. Unbelievable. Magic was what I called it. Unlike any Picasso or Da Vinci painting could ever portray. Simply magic. And this is just the fish. There she was floating a midst in the ocean. She took my face, observed it with those pearly white gorgeous eyes. Stroked her long unattainable fingers through my brown hair. She took those red lips of hers and kissed the one thing in this world that was attainable and for good reason. The eternal kiss of life. Unlike any other feeling or emotion, could ever top that. No grand final victory, or top marks in Biology exam, no state of emotion after jumping off the highest mountain in the world could top that my emotion. The emotion of love. Unbelievable.

“Doctor, I think its time we do something. It’s been half an hour. It’s like he’s on some sort of carefree, happiness, loopy drug! If you won’t do anything I will.” The doctor stared patiently at his subject, observed his every move, analysing his drug induced state, step by step. Not wishing to bother the subject.

She again took my hand and swam with me back to shore. The beach, oh how I miss it. The rough smooth sand which nestled between my toes. The soft breezy ocean air which flowed through my brown, now wet, curly hair. The sunlights rays struck my back and my pale white face. I never thought I’d see the day when I would become as dark as night. And it felt good. There she was again, she fell immediately to the sand, lay her head on my white chest and traced her finger down my chest. Drawing love hearts with her long index finger. This was paradise to me. Unbelievable.

“Doctor!”

As we lay, stretched out onto the warm sand, the girl unattainable in my imagination stood up. She walked gracefully across the sand to a point upon the rocks. Every step she took was like a mini dance. So elegant and so poised. She did not turn back once to look at the thing behind her which wanted her more than life itself, me. And I did not dare try to stop her.

Moments later, the girl stood on the ledge again. Everything went dark. The skies turned a dull and depressing gray. The ocean which sparkled a bright and mystical blue was now deadly blue. The waves which lightly crashed upon the shore were causing monstrous havoc near the rocks down below. The sound of the crashing waves were loud to the ear and sounded like screams of pain. And worst of all, the girl who know was facing me, was no longer gleaming white. Her skin turned a dreary dead-like tone, her pearly white eyes, immersed in tears and bloodshot. The white flowing dress she wore so beautifully was torn all over and stained with black markings.

“Doctor Shipman, you have five minutes to terminate this foul experiment or I shall inform the authorities. The boy is obviously in some kind of distress. Stop now.”

She stood by the edge scared. I dared not to come any closer to her. All I could do was stand and wait patiently on her decision, whatever she planned on doing. She closed her beautiful and tired eyes, shed her last tear and turned back to face the ocean. The powerful winds could not stop her. As I struggled to keep myself still to watch her, I could see the girl was as still as the tallest tree in the forest. I fell to the ground, now inches away from her beautiful body and inches away from the ledge where she stood lifelessly. I looked down and saw to my eyes, rocks. Piercing up from the ground and waves uncontrollable. I attempted to look up at her eyes, still closed. If it weren’t for her chest steadily increasing and decreasing that I would have thought she had died. I tried with all my effort and more to get onto my feet and save her. She opened her eyes once more, looked straight down at my distressed and confused face and took the final step into oblivion.

“Nancy, stop the experiment.” The doctor was still, in a calm tone, observing his subject, watching the boy behind the opaque glass throwing chairs, jumping off falls, banging the window and in tears.

“Inject somaxil and then terminate this experiment.” The doctor walked away and closed the door. The subject still psychologically unstable stood in the centre of the room, fixated on the window quietly whispering. His breath uneven and fists balled up.

“Melody, Melody, Melody. Lips as red as red. Wind blowing through her hair. Melody.”