best night of my life, yet ;)

"...engage in your senses. along the way remember to stop & smell the cotton candy, eat a few cupcakes, and just have a great time...stay away from the bad brownies! MEOW!"

Unrealistic

I'M BACKKKKKK...

Blame university and work for my prolonged absence. I've decided to start blogging again because I figured I can't write about this personal-ish stuff in my reflective journal for university =P. Don't think Tony would appreciate me blabbing on about my life at home or work, or what I did over the weekend if it's unrelated to my field project.

The definition of unrealistic can refer to the lack of reality or substance; not capable of occuring or being accomplished; impracticality. It all started about first year of university, occurred again when I started my job at the pet store and once again, today. I do animal science because I wanted to broaden my horizons and try something new, something enjoyable and experience something that is out of my comfort zone. Animal Science is about the significance of animals to the community. So how we use animals for food production, how we aid in conservation, how we better understand the physiology and psychology of animals and how we use animals today in modern society as companion animals. A lot more ties into these things, such as animal welfare and diseases.

I remember back in first year in a lecture, the lecturer asked the class of about 80 or so people who doesn't have a pet at home. My group of friends knew I don't have a pet NOW, but I did use to have fish and birds, and took care of fish and birds when my cousins went overseas. Out of all 80 or so people in the class, one girl took the guts to put her hand up. The look on everyone's faces of surprise was astonishing. You could tell the look on some people's faces when she put her hand up. Many people looked and her and though "what a deprived child" others had a different opinion and thought "why is she in an ANIMAL science course, and not have any experience with animals whatsoever?". Those judgemental faces were enough to make me upset. Is that how people think of me when I tell them I do animal science and have not had a pet before?

I was lucky enough to get a job at a pet store back in October/November. The owner (now my boss) was so shocked to hear that I've never owned a pet before, yet studied a course primarily evolved around working with animals. He kept saying the job was "dirty", not that kind of dirty, just involved a lot of messy jobs, cleaning up poop, getting wet, feathers everywhere, the whole gig. That didn't fret me much, since I've worked with horses, cows and sheep before. One cow can make more mess than all the animals in the pet store combined! So by a miracle, I managed to get the job. What upset's me sometimes at work is that, I often get approached by people with many stories about how their dogs eat their poop, or how their birds sing to them when they are sad, or how their cat curls up to them or even how their siamese fighting fish eats from their hands. These stories about how they've made such a strong connection with their pet, makes me want a pet so badly. I want that connection. I want to feel to love of someone else who doesn't judge, but just wants to play and have the loved returned. Is that too much to ask?

Back to the present. I was looking at something called "Oscar's Law". This new legislation hopefully to be passed by the Government to stop the factory farming of dogs and prohibit the sale of pets in pet stores. The pet store I work at thankfully DOES NOT buy puppies from puppy farms, but I felt its better to SAVE a dog rather than buying one who was either mistakenly conceived for money. So today I decided to browse a little on the web at dog shelters and hopefully find one suitable to my personality. I found a couple that I wanted to show my mum, but when I told her I wanted to adopt a dog, she immediately said no. Her argument was that, why get a dog that's already big? You can't train it to not bite at an older age. It's better to get one at a younger age, preferably a puppy. She just doesn't understand! My mum is being so unrealistic and so impractical! Here's what she said to me last week...

"I don't want a big dog. But I want a labrador. And I don't want a dog that bites."

I didn't know what to think to be honest. I wanted to defend my case so badly, but having such conservative and uneducated (on the subject of dogs) parents isn't going to help me at all. ALL DOGS BITE! She clearly does not understand this, even at a young age dog's will bite whatever they can get their nasty little teeth on to help the teething process. It's just plain stubbornness.

Ok she doesn't want a big dog, but a labrador? That just doesn't even make sense! I asked her to explain it and she said, "I want it as a puppy", claiming again its best to teach them when they are young NOT to bite. Again it comes down to teaching dogs not to bite and how you treat them at home. Obviously if you're going to yell at it and beat it with the newspaper, the dog's going to bite back whether you like it or not. I just don't understand my mother sometimes. This is all just typical filo mother talk right here, trying to get their way and prove they are right, even when it sounds confusing.

I honestly feel like she's saying all of this because she doesn't trust me enough to take the responsibility of another life. I don't ask for much, and in return all I want is a dog, and they aren't giving me the time of the day to prove I can do it. I know this is such a small thing to make such a big deal over but I am most passionate about. Kill me for fighting for what I want.

Never too late

HELLO =)

It has been a while since I last decided to post anything on my blog, purely because things kept getting in the way. Or purely in my case, because I was lazy. But some recent stuff has happened that I need to highlight.

Apart from the ever so short four month holiday, I have started uni =(, *boo hoo* I know. It hasn't even been two weeks yet and I'm already complaining about everything, from travelling to textbooks to lecturers. Don't know if its just me, but I've said this so many times, it's seems as though its been implanted in peoples minds that I really just want to quit. The fact this is my last year does prompt me to finish this year off and work for as long as I want, but its the overall feeling of continuous study that I am dreading. I simply do not enjoy it anymore, as with everything else, the people, my friends are the ones that I'm enduring one more year of turmoil for because I simply cannot handle the stress and workload of university life sometimes. I really don't understand how people can withstand being in university, actually, how people can stand studying for so many years in a row! Half of our lives are spent studying and I'm not saying I don't appreciate the education that is given to me, I'm very fortunate for that indeed. I think at this moment in time, I've come to the realisation that I'm growing up and will be getting a proper full-time job, moving out, starting a family and all that adult stuff. It's scary. I am looking forward to it, but right now, I'd rather spend my time with my friends (those who remain my true friends), travel the world, make some spontaneous purchases, find someone or multiple people to call my own and all that other stuff. It's wayyyy too early for me to settle down.

Other than uni, I guess it's just been work, hanging out, spending money here and there, work, and all of the above.

Day 30

"highs and lows of this month"

Christmas is definitely one of the main highs of this month. On the religious side and the gathering part of it all. I hardly get to see my cousins and relatives; we've all gotten distant lately and since my family is the smallest out of the rest of our cousins we're often the ones left out of everything (my cousins also say its because they think my dad is scary =P). It was just really nice to spend Christmas with my cousins, playing scattergories, talking about whats going on with our lives and swimming in the pool.

Christmas this year though has also been kinda, slow? Dead? Uneventful? It just seems like another ordinary day of the week. I mean everyone spends so much money buying presents and receiving presents that no one really nowadays understands the true meaning of Christmas, or should I say CHRISTmas. The birth of Christ. It's Jesus's birthday. And I understand that Christmas is the holiday of giving, but more people just seem to be more into the receiving bit, and the gifts people get are getting more and more extravagant every year. Like my nephew last year got a skateboard or a bike (one of them), this year he got this Android like iPad. Let's just say something similar to the iPad. He is 13 and he got something that extreme for Christmas. When I was 13 I remember getting "Guess Who" the board game for Christmas. To me this year, Christmas was just another reason for parents to spoil their children rotten. That was a definite low of this month. That people had lost the true meaning of Christmas. The birth of Christ.

Another high of this month was getting to hang out with my old high school friends. Especially the other day where four of us spent five hours (with a twenty minute break) playing "Halo", like we used to back in high school after sports on Thursday afternoons. It was just nice to sit back and reminisce about everything. I love my friends so much, I hate how distant we've become over the past two years.

One that I am looking forward for is New Years. A new year, a new start; new adventures, new challenges; meeting new people and all of the above. I really hope 2011 is going to be a good year for me. Fingers crossed.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years to everyone =D.

Day 29

"goal for the next 30 days"

- lose those Xmas kilos (and everything else =P)

- sort of this business of my client for next year for uni, so screwed for leaving it last minute

- keep saving my dayum money

- enjoy the last bit of the holidays I have till I have to start this dumb 3rd year project

- figure out what I really wanna do with my uni degree

- try to hang out with ALL my friends during the holidays

- work work and more work

"It is a fair, even-headed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour"

Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

Day 28

"something that you miss"

Working with my old red rooster buddies and hanging out like old times with my high school mates. Working at the pet store is completely different than red rooster. Don't get me wrong, I love working at the pet store, meeting new people, hearing different stories about people with their pets and playing around with the dogs and cats, but what I really miss is actually working with people who I can talk with and joke around with every day. At the pet store, it's just me and the manager whereas at red rooster its me, the manager and everyone else who would be working that day. I got so close to everyone that they were like family to me. It was great just fooling around with them, telling stories and just being plain stupid with one another. I still do visit them (because to get to my work, I pass red rooster) and we all hang out, but I still miss the actual working part.

My old high school friends and I do not really hang out anymore. We have mainly all separated into smaller groups and have done our own separate things. I miss the days when at lunch we played UNO and spoons and talked about nonsense and joked around about everything. Now a days everyone is too busy, either working, already have plans with other friends or just plain tired from the night before or from work or some other mumbo jumbo. I just wish all the drama we went through would end and we could all hang out with one another like we used to.

Day 27

"a problem you once had"

It's more of a problem I actually have now. I tend to be very gullible, especially when it comes to guys and relationships. I haven't had any type of "those" relationships, but whenever I fall for a guy, I think the world of them. I believe that we have a connection that no one else shares; that we talk into the night about our hobbies and interests or just about other things that amuse us. When we are together it's just magical because we have inside jokes, we continue on our conversations from the previous night and joke and play/flirt around with each other.

But the problem here is, whenever they do something bad to me and I know it, I ALWAYS give them a second chance and let them get away with it. I believe in change. Everyone can change for the better because of that one special person. And for some odd reason I believe that one special person is always me. I can recall this happening at least three times in the past two years. You'd think I would learn from past mistakes, but I'm the type person who, when the opportunity comes, I latch on and won't let go until I am told so myself by the guy. Then again, I'm alway the "go-to-girl" who the guy consoles in whenever his girlfriend isn't around. I personally am 50-50 when it comes to situations like it. I don't mind the innocent flirting, but when you go overboard and expect me to not say anything to your girlfriend and expect me to be ok with you leading me on like that, then that is when I go psycho.

So problem I once and still have, being gullible.

Day 26

"what kind of person attracts you?"

PASTEY WHITE MAN!!!

Jokes. First and foremost, I want a MAN not a boy. But in all honesty, I look for guys who a great sense of humour. Even though I tend to laugh at everything and at the most inappropriate times, I want a relationship that is based upon friendship and to talk and joke about things like I would with my friends.

I also look for guys who are tall ;). I am tall myself, and I personally don't really like that. It's a pain to wear heels with my friends who are WAY shorter than I, which makes me look like a giant. So I want man who looks down at me (not in a bad way), so that we can look all cute with me on my toes to reach him.

I want a guy who can prioritise. I don't like couples where they completely disregard their friends and spend almost every waking hour with each other. It's cute (well really not) that they like to spend time with each other, but thats how couples lose friends.

I like guys with great fashion sense. Not too branded, but know how to dress themselves in a respectable manner. NO pants hanging below the ass, NO rat tails, NO tracksuit pants with rubber shoes. So pretty much nothing like a LAD.

Day 25

"someone you fascinates you and why"

That's actually quite a personal one, he is one of my friends who I used to work with at Red Rooster. At first I didn't exactly talk to his boy, purely because he was quite .. quiet and awkward I guess you could say. He used to turn up to work really early and wouldn't start till his shift started, on the dot. Before he started he would walk back and forth in the store and stretch and do all these weird things. Anyway I guess one day I finally took up the courage to talk to him and make conversation. Turns out he was a nice, interesting guy who has a lot to say about everything and everyone.

Anyway, one day he turned up to work one day and was in tears. He was angry and upset and all that is sad and depressing. And it struck me, not only because I haven't really seen a guy cry before, but this guy who was always talking and laughing with everyone, making jokes and all that jazz was in tears and crying like there everything and everyone in the world hurt him. I heard this story, as to why he was in tears. The things I learnt that day forever changed my perspective on him. He was no longer the awkward boy who stretched during work and talked non sense and walked back and forth in work, he was, as cliche as it sounds, my friend.

But what really fascinates me, is that, through all the adversity he goes through, all the hard times and the depressing moments of his life, he still manages to remain strong and live life to the fullest. He doesn't take shit from anyone and lives by his own rules.