May 31, 2010
May 26, 2010
More awkwardness
It seems like everywhere I go, awkwardness follows me. Today on the train on the way home from the zoo, there was this woman who got on the train at Redfern. The moment the doors opened, you could hear this faint yelling in the distance .. "HOLD ON!"
I quickly began looking for this random voice who is yelling in the distance to hold on. And I see two women at the top of the stairs quickly trying to get pass the crowd to get onto the train. Both were blonde, both were oldish and both seemed like bogans (no offence). The doors close and only one of the girls manage to get through, the other is standing outside the doors staring at her friend, yelling at the guard to open the doors. She eventually gets through and they take a seat. One of them asks this poor little asian woman to move her bag, although her bag is sitting on her lap, and a nice man who also seems like a bogan sacrifices his seat to let the other friend sit there. Even though it's crowded and its peak hour these two girls were the loudest in the carriage. Majority of the train ride, they're sitting there hugging one another, seemed a bit weird at first, but I didn't bother to turn around and observe. Then there's a man who works for Cityrail standing by the stairs and continually shakes his head for some reason. So one of the two blonde girls gets off at Strathfield. The other woman gets from her seat and yells through the closed doors, "I'LL RING YOU AT 6 OKAY?!" She stands there and watches her friend leave as the train moves by.
Here is where the awkwardness begins. So there's an empty seat next to her, and over ten people standing up, all squashed together in this warm carriage. I assume the lady was drunk, because like the lady from my previous "Art of awkwardness" post, she continually kept repeating herself. "DOES ANYONE WANT TO SIT?"
From Strathfield all the way to about Parramatta, she kept repeating "DOES ANYONE WANNA SIT NEXT TO ME? THERE'S A SPARE SPOT NEXT TO ME? ANYONE? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO SIT WITH ME? DOES EVERYONE WANT TO STAND UP? ANYONE WANT TO SIT?"
My friend and I just stared at each other, we both were thinking, that we would only sit if the other had a spot next to each other. The man from Cityrail standing by the stairs, kept shaking his head and softly giggled. One guy was mumbling things to a guy across the carriage from him about how crazy this woman was. This woman had thousands of stories to tell.
Once my friend and I found a seat next to each other, no one choose to sit next to the "crazy" lady. One man took the liberty to sit next to her, but he didn't know the awkwardness the rest of us in the carriage went through before he got on at Parramatta. I stared at the this man across from me who seemed to laugh everytime the lady kept trying to talk. She spoke to the Cityrail man about a boy was apparently got sliced in half by a train. The Cityrail man had nothing to say but,"I've heard, but not seen." It was quiet fascinating. Then she changed the topic and started talking to the man who offered his seat to her friend. She kept calling him a gentleman and that he was the only gentleman on the train, unlike the other hundred or us men on the train.
Oh, and one more thing, whilst she was telling everyone her stories, she was busily rolling up cigarettes in front of everyone. VERY funny.
This next story isn't really funny, but more embarassing and TOTALLY awkward. I got to work today to visit my manager, because I'm nice like that ;). Well remember my "so-called" friend who doesn't want to talk to me anymore, because I said a couple of things which upset them? Yeah well I got to work today, this certain person was working and they totally ignored me. Didn't bother to acknowledge my presence. So my manager decided to make him notice...
"_ _ _ _ _ say hello to Natasha."
awkward silence
"Say hello _ _ _ _ _"
awkward silence. Me staring at this person and thinking, this is just humiliating.
So this person continues to ignore me, and not even bother to say hello. So my manager decides to confront him, in front of the WHOLE store. She pretty much spilled everything out, "why aren't you talking to her? She apologized right? What do you want her to do, beg on her knees? What did she do wrong?"
I pretty much hid behind a wall, trying not to cry. It was quiet embarassing, but I knew it was HEAPS embarassing from this person who was being confronted in front of everyone in the store. I didn't know what to do. I want to step in a stop her, but I felt that this person needed to be taught a lesson. Yet, knowing this person, they won't learn. So I decided to leave so that she would stop torturing the poor person. Hopefully it worked =S.
I quickly began looking for this random voice who is yelling in the distance to hold on. And I see two women at the top of the stairs quickly trying to get pass the crowd to get onto the train. Both were blonde, both were oldish and both seemed like bogans (no offence). The doors close and only one of the girls manage to get through, the other is standing outside the doors staring at her friend, yelling at the guard to open the doors. She eventually gets through and they take a seat. One of them asks this poor little asian woman to move her bag, although her bag is sitting on her lap, and a nice man who also seems like a bogan sacrifices his seat to let the other friend sit there. Even though it's crowded and its peak hour these two girls were the loudest in the carriage. Majority of the train ride, they're sitting there hugging one another, seemed a bit weird at first, but I didn't bother to turn around and observe. Then there's a man who works for Cityrail standing by the stairs and continually shakes his head for some reason. So one of the two blonde girls gets off at Strathfield. The other woman gets from her seat and yells through the closed doors, "I'LL RING YOU AT 6 OKAY?!" She stands there and watches her friend leave as the train moves by.
Here is where the awkwardness begins. So there's an empty seat next to her, and over ten people standing up, all squashed together in this warm carriage. I assume the lady was drunk, because like the lady from my previous "Art of awkwardness" post, she continually kept repeating herself. "DOES ANYONE WANT TO SIT?"
From Strathfield all the way to about Parramatta, she kept repeating "DOES ANYONE WANNA SIT NEXT TO ME? THERE'S A SPARE SPOT NEXT TO ME? ANYONE? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO SIT WITH ME? DOES EVERYONE WANT TO STAND UP? ANYONE WANT TO SIT?"
My friend and I just stared at each other, we both were thinking, that we would only sit if the other had a spot next to each other. The man from Cityrail standing by the stairs, kept shaking his head and softly giggled. One guy was mumbling things to a guy across the carriage from him about how crazy this woman was. This woman had thousands of stories to tell.
Once my friend and I found a seat next to each other, no one choose to sit next to the "crazy" lady. One man took the liberty to sit next to her, but he didn't know the awkwardness the rest of us in the carriage went through before he got on at Parramatta. I stared at the this man across from me who seemed to laugh everytime the lady kept trying to talk. She spoke to the Cityrail man about a boy was apparently got sliced in half by a train. The Cityrail man had nothing to say but,"I've heard, but not seen." It was quiet fascinating. Then she changed the topic and started talking to the man who offered his seat to her friend. She kept calling him a gentleman and that he was the only gentleman on the train, unlike the other hundred or us men on the train.
Oh, and one more thing, whilst she was telling everyone her stories, she was busily rolling up cigarettes in front of everyone. VERY funny.
This next story isn't really funny, but more embarassing and TOTALLY awkward. I got to work today to visit my manager, because I'm nice like that ;). Well remember my "so-called" friend who doesn't want to talk to me anymore, because I said a couple of things which upset them? Yeah well I got to work today, this certain person was working and they totally ignored me. Didn't bother to acknowledge my presence. So my manager decided to make him notice...
"_ _ _ _ _ say hello to Natasha."
awkward silence
"Say hello _ _ _ _ _"
awkward silence. Me staring at this person and thinking, this is just humiliating.
So this person continues to ignore me, and not even bother to say hello. So my manager decides to confront him, in front of the WHOLE store. She pretty much spilled everything out, "why aren't you talking to her? She apologized right? What do you want her to do, beg on her knees? What did she do wrong?"
I pretty much hid behind a wall, trying not to cry. It was quiet embarassing, but I knew it was HEAPS embarassing from this person who was being confronted in front of everyone in the store. I didn't know what to do. I want to step in a stop her, but I felt that this person needed to be taught a lesson. Yet, knowing this person, they won't learn. So I decided to leave so that she would stop torturing the poor person. Hopefully it worked =S.
May 24, 2010
The art of awkwardness ... part 3
HERE IT IS AGAIN! Well it wasn't really awkward for me, I felt more helpless and cruel for not doing anything, but it was awkward deciding what to do. But here's the story. A couple of weeks ago, couple of friends and I decided to "study" in the library whilst finishing off a little project for a friend of ours. Me and one of my friends were walking/racing to work to give our manager a gift, and she got all teary, so we decided to leave (we're not cruel like that, trust me). But on our way back to the library there is this little, well not really little more like a ten year old Indian girl standing by the front counter in the library just crying out loud. We slowly walked passed her because we were wondering if we should do anything. We automatically thought maybe she's just been seperated from her parents, and although the library is a small place, for a little child, it's like getting lost in the woods.
So we're still walking slowly pass her and we notice what seemed like a puddle surrounding her. Mind you, it was raining that day, so we assumed she got wet in the rain and just left a puddle. We felt kinda guilty just leaving the poor girl there, but moments later the librarian comes running to the girls aid, wipes her face and makes her stand BEHIND the front counter. And then it made all sense ... she peed her pants in the library. That's when it got awkward. The little girl stared at me, once I noticed what she had done. What was awkward about this was I was so tempted to laugh, but I knew it was horribly wrong to laugh at. If you see something like that you don't laugh, but when your telling someone else about it or someone else is telling you about it, you cant help but laugh.
I felt so helpless. I didn't know what to do, my friend and I didn't know what to do. And I'm sure if I knew whart she had done BEFORE the librarian came along, I most probably would ahve made things worse by laughing. Then being shamed in public by some random, telling me I have no respect, blah blah blah.
So we're still walking slowly pass her and we notice what seemed like a puddle surrounding her. Mind you, it was raining that day, so we assumed she got wet in the rain and just left a puddle. We felt kinda guilty just leaving the poor girl there, but moments later the librarian comes running to the girls aid, wipes her face and makes her stand BEHIND the front counter. And then it made all sense ... she peed her pants in the library. That's when it got awkward. The little girl stared at me, once I noticed what she had done. What was awkward about this was I was so tempted to laugh, but I knew it was horribly wrong to laugh at. If you see something like that you don't laugh, but when your telling someone else about it or someone else is telling you about it, you cant help but laugh.
I felt so helpless. I didn't know what to do, my friend and I didn't know what to do. And I'm sure if I knew whart she had done BEFORE the librarian came along, I most probably would ahve made things worse by laughing. Then being shamed in public by some random, telling me I have no respect, blah blah blah.
The journey home
My sister has been home for almost a week already, and fair enough, she's jet lagged and adjusting to the weather, but that doesn't excuse yourself! You're home now, meaning you should start cleaning up after yourself like you haven't been gone for freaking 3 months!
But at the same time, it a plus for me, because now I can bludge away like she was never gone for 3 months and neglect my chores =P .. Kidding! ahahahaha
But at the same time, it a plus for me, because now I can bludge away like she was never gone for 3 months and neglect my chores =P .. Kidding! ahahahaha
girls of the week
FAMATIC!!!! These girls have been through so much with me =) i didn't say they had to be celebrities
xoxo
man of the week
No one liked Puck in the beginning of Glee, EXCEPT for me. Now EVERYONE loves him =P
My weakness
Is there such a thing as being TOO nice? I've been told I'm WAY to nice, or that I'm such a softie. And until recent events that have occured in my life, I finally realized I am too nice.
First off, why should I apologize for expressing how I feel? Why should I apologize that someone else doesn't understand what I'm on about? Why? But I still do it. I cave in too quickly and it's such a weakness. I don't know how to control it. Maybe it's a particular person, or its just natural that I can't be angry for too long at someone.
Whatever it is, how can I change that? Any suggestions?
First off, why should I apologize for expressing how I feel? Why should I apologize that someone else doesn't understand what I'm on about? Why? But I still do it. I cave in too quickly and it's such a weakness. I don't know how to control it. Maybe it's a particular person, or its just natural that I can't be angry for too long at someone.
Whatever it is, how can I change that? Any suggestions?
May 18, 2010
Procrastination and distraction
--- PERSONAL ---
Location: my bedroom
Hair: black/brown and curly
Eyes: dark brown and asian =P
Height: 168cm .. don't ask about inches and feet and what not
Status: single, unfortunately =D
Piercings: just my ears, though I do want my tongue pierced
Tattoos: I WISH!
Wearing: sleeping clothes =D
How are you: depressed, listening to depressing music to match my mood
---FIRST REACTIONS---
Cigarettes: smokers are jokers!
Sex: VIRIGIN!!! and proud of it =)
Relationships: freaking complicated! And freaking ridiculous!
Your Last Ex: what ex?
Cars: question should be, do I have my P's to even think about cars in the first place?
Religion: CATHOLIC!!!
Worst Fear: being alone and not being able to be there for the people I love
Marriage: not now, but hopefully when I'm older =D
Pass the time: I listen to my music and sleep or think about the crap that goes on in my life
Cell Phone: no one says cell phone in australia!
High school: I miss it so much =(
Your best friend(s): sucks that I fail at trying to keep in contact with them, but they know I love them
Money: freaking wish I had more =P
Heartache: you can't have a broken heart unless you truly were in love. But you can definitely have heartache from stupid relationships. And I am definitely feeling some heartache
Love: love takes time. You can't say your in love simply because you WANT to be in love. It's pathetic!
Time: like money, I wish I had more. More time to do my freaking assignments, more time to cherish the moments and more time to make a difference
The word HATE: it's such a strong word, depending on where you're using it
--- HAVE YOU EVER ---
Gotten Drunk: LOL yes .. tipsy, many times
Hiked up a mountain: not a mountain, more like a hill =P
Stayed home on Saturday night, just because?: umm, yes =(
Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? I don't believe you can possibly be in love with someone without truly digging into each others emotions and opening them up. But I have cried over someone I liked many times.
Hated yourself? you bet
Are you a Virgin? CHYEAH!
Hurt a friend: unfortunately, yes
Fallen for your best friend: yeah
Been Rejected: depends on what type of rejection
Been in Love: again, I don't believe in that type of love early in the game. And since i've never been IN the game, then no.
Used someone: heck no!
Been Used: hopefully not
--- RANDOM ---
Are you thinking of someone right now? Yeah, I shouldn't be, but I can't help it.
What were you doing at 7pm yesterday? I think I was taking a nap, like I always do =P
Ever get poked in the eye? No but I did it to someone else =(
Has anyone told you that they missed you lately? No, but I said it to someone else (ungrateful hole!)
What's the song your listening to now? "Someday" by All-4-One
Was yesterday better than today? Last night was probably the crappiest night I've had in a while. And today, well haven't exactly gone through much today to compare =P But my sister is coming back, so hopefully that'll brighten my day.
Are you a jealous person? Yep.
Are you someone who's an asshole for telling the truth? I honestly, don't like exposing the truth to people because I know they'll end up hating me in the end, even though they say they won't.
When was your last non-physical night? Probably about two, three days ago.
Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them? ALL THE FREAKING TIME! Because I'm a snob like that.
Are you happy with the way things are going? Not really, then again it's my fault for letting it happen.
What alcoholic beverage do you dislike? Q.F's. NO MORE EVER!!!!
May 17, 2010
People these days (yes... it's back!)
A friend and I were talking a couple of days ago, about how some people don't understand that you can't keep hiding behind your personality. For example, a slutty girl fucks around with her best friends boyfriend. She says sorry to her best friend, but it's okay, because well she's a slut. Well, I guess that was kinda a bad example, but you get my point right?
Couple of days ago, this guy I know, claims to be best friends with this other girl I know. This guy doesn't want to write a little message saying "goodbye", because he is shy and doesn't know what to write. I see this situation from both angles. Yes, your shy. It's hard to open up to someone who is really close to you, that words on a piece of paper cannot describe. But since you've put the title of "best-friends" with one another, isn't is right for the "best-friend" to WANT to write something? I know if my best friend didn't want to write something for me, I'd be devastated. Oh, and the excuse of "I'm sorry, ofcourse I love you" .. is NOT a reason. I'm sorry honey. These type of people need to understand that no matter where you are, you gotta speak up! MAN THE FREAK UP! I don't care if this person reads this, they should know to man up!
Another story; today at uni, my friends and I were walking together to our class, little did we know we were walking in a line (yes awkward and strange), but in the distance are four other people in the same course as us walking towards us, well not really just walking pass. But as soon as we walked pass, we heard the whole group giggle. First thing I thought of was, WTF is so funny?! One of these girls just so happens to be someone who we constantly help because she CONSTANTLY as we like to call it "wall-hijacking" on facebook asking for help with uni. EXCUSE ME! You are not king shit, because you live on campus and think you own the fucking uni! And EXCUSE ME to that girl, where's the thanks for all the help we've given you over the past year and a half of uni? I haven't heard one thanks from you biatch! It's people like that who think they rule the world. Where in high school, we king shit's who looked down upon people and laughed at their flaws and the stupid things they've done. Well F.Y.I to the four of you, you're gonna stay stuck-up biatchs, all alone wishing you were a better person when you were younger. HAVE A GREAT LIFE!
Couple of days ago, this guy I know, claims to be best friends with this other girl I know. This guy doesn't want to write a little message saying "goodbye", because he is shy and doesn't know what to write. I see this situation from both angles. Yes, your shy. It's hard to open up to someone who is really close to you, that words on a piece of paper cannot describe. But since you've put the title of "best-friends" with one another, isn't is right for the "best-friend" to WANT to write something? I know if my best friend didn't want to write something for me, I'd be devastated. Oh, and the excuse of "I'm sorry, ofcourse I love you" .. is NOT a reason. I'm sorry honey. These type of people need to understand that no matter where you are, you gotta speak up! MAN THE FREAK UP! I don't care if this person reads this, they should know to man up!
Another story; today at uni, my friends and I were walking together to our class, little did we know we were walking in a line (yes awkward and strange), but in the distance are four other people in the same course as us walking towards us, well not really just walking pass. But as soon as we walked pass, we heard the whole group giggle. First thing I thought of was, WTF is so funny?! One of these girls just so happens to be someone who we constantly help because she CONSTANTLY as we like to call it "wall-hijacking" on facebook asking for help with uni. EXCUSE ME! You are not king shit, because you live on campus and think you own the fucking uni! And EXCUSE ME to that girl, where's the thanks for all the help we've given you over the past year and a half of uni? I haven't heard one thanks from you biatch! It's people like that who think they rule the world. Where in high school, we king shit's who looked down upon people and laughed at their flaws and the stupid things they've done. Well F.Y.I to the four of you, you're gonna stay stuck-up biatchs, all alone wishing you were a better person when you were younger. HAVE A GREAT LIFE!
this week i'm loving ..
an appreciation for summer...
hugs in winter...
the return journey home...
female heroes...
1920's fashion..
drifting into your imagination...
the extra layer of clothes in winter...
May 16, 2010
May 12, 2010
TAKE ME AWAY!
Honestly just wanna jump in a hole and stay there, away from everyone and everything! Uni is just so argh! right now. So many freaking assessments, so many things to do and they expect us to keep some sort of balance. Work is a pain too. I thought I was getting over the whole ordeal with me being fired because I'm too expensive, but honestly I'm wondering now if it's all worth it. Again, I'm only happy on some occassions and I can only put on a smile for so long.
Right now, I just wanna run away to some tropical island, away from any homework, assessments, essays, away from work, everyone at work, everyone here. Just need to get away!
There's just so many emotions running through me right now, it's hard to keep up with it and it's hard to tell anyone. Anger, depression, jealousy (O-M-G, don't even know why I am jealous to be honest!), betrayal, lonely. The list goes freaking on. Just really need a vacation .. REALLY NEED ONE!!!!
Right now, I just wanna run away to some tropical island, away from any homework, assessments, essays, away from work, everyone at work, everyone here. Just need to get away!
There's just so many emotions running through me right now, it's hard to keep up with it and it's hard to tell anyone. Anger, depression, jealousy (O-M-G, don't even know why I am jealous to be honest!), betrayal, lonely. The list goes freaking on. Just really need a vacation .. REALLY NEED ONE!!!!
Man of the week...
Gotta admit, for an Indian, he's pretty good-looking ;)
I haven't done this in AGES!!!
May 10, 2010
One more week ...
In about a week, my sister finally gets home form her worldwide adventure! Well not really worldwide, more like .. majority of South America and Canada and the Philippines. And to be honest, I'm actually looking forward to her coming back home. It's kinda been a lonely three months without her in the house. I hate to admit it, but it sucked not being able to talk one-on-one with my sister about work, things going on in work ;), uni and how much I hate it right now, you know the usual. Pro's of her gone, I get to borrow her clothes without her knowing (shhhh*) and I get to temporarily use her room and my hideout/study area. What sucks now, is that I gotta clean it up in a weeks time before she gets home so it looks it I was never in her room ;).
But in a week, my friend Linda from work goes off to Iraq, forever =(. I remember the very first day I met Linda at work. Everything that came out of that girls mouth was a complete lie! "Marcelle's my mum", "I go to university, I'm in my second year", "I'm 18 years old", that girl is such a crack up! She taught me pretty much everything. I remember when we were in the freezer stacking chips, she told me that Marcelle was like her mother/sister, that they have a special bond between the two of them. It was kinda cute.
I honestly used to hate working with Linda. Her constant yelling and swearing pissed the hell out of me. The woman had no respect what so ever! But I soon realised she was pretty funny when she wasn't screaming at me, calling me a motherfu**er blah blah blah and what not, soon realised to get over it and get used to it, thats what makes Linda funny =P. I am really going to miss that motherfunker =(.
LOVE YOU LINDA, GONNA MISS YOU 69 ='(
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