- One Tree Hill Seasons
- Fisheye camera
- Shoes
- New dress
- Marc Jacobs Lola perfume
- New wallet
- Denim shorts
- Masterchef, Masterclass DVD
- Doggie =)
Nov 26, 2009
xmas wish list
like every year, I make a list and casually tell you people that I would like certain things for christmas. Even though no one is actually going to bother its still list to make lists =D
the twilight empire and the fall of new moon
i've been looking forward to "the twilight saga: new moon" ever since, well pretty much after Twilight. I read new moon and in my opinion it was my favourite book out of the four in the series. It just touches on the mythological debate about werewolves and vampires and who evidently is the better race. I personally think werewolves are better, speaking on a non-biased opinion of new moon. Werewolves, although cannot control their shape-shifting, are four times stronger than vampires. Physically they may not be the most "attractive" mythological creatures, but they are one of the most renowned beings.
So back to Twilight/New Moon and my opinion of it. I personally disliked it. I didn't hate it, there were a couple of things here and there that caught my eye (and yes, one of them was Taylor Lautner shirtless. It's funny that after the movie was released a facebook page was devoted to Taylor Lautner shirtless, obsessed much?). I shall start with the negatives.
First off, the acting. Kristen Stewart is in my opinion one of the worst actresses in the world. Despite the fact that she looks like a genetically modified rat that was dipped in toxic waste, her acting was atrocious. What was with the abnormal screams? I mean I get she's having nightmares and all, but in all honesty who screams like that in real life? And is it even possible to scream like that in your sleep? I wouldn't know, but still, what is up with that? She did it in the first film too, when she was bitten by James and the "venom" was beginning to circulate her system and she started that random spasm of screams. Seriously woman, be realistic here.
Dialogue. OMG! How corny and stupid are the things these people say. Kids may not understand it, but people my age can feel my pain. For example, I know this was highly unintended (or was it ;)), but in the scene in the forest when Edward is informing Bella he is leaving Forks/Vancouver, Bella tells him, "I'm coming" and Edward replies with, "I don't want you to come". Know I am not the one who thought of this first, blame a wise friend of mine, but if you get me, "come" .............. Yes I know it's lame, but I wasn't the first person to notice it. I noticed it because someone else told me about it. Another line I felt was completely stupid, Bella to Jacob when she falls over the bike, "You are sorta beautiful". Ok, two things I find wrong here. It's not really wrong, I just find it so weird its just not mean't to be said. One, sorta? How can someone be sorta beautiful? If you intend to compliment someone, you wouldn't dumb it down. And the last thing, beautiful. I get it if he said it to her, but she said it to him. Beautiful is such a better word than "hot", but I just find it weird for a girl to be calling a guy beautiful. A more appropriate word would have been handsome, appealing or even attractive. I don't know, most people would have no problem with it, but I just find it highly odd. There was another line I thought was funny, I liked it.
Moving onto Robert Pattinson/Edward. Is it me, but does he look weird in New Moon? I thought he was quite "appealing" in the first film. But in New Moon, he looked WAAAAAAAAAAY to white. It was like they made him dive in a pool full of baby powder before he started filming. For a "beautiful" vampire, he sure didn't look "beautiful". And the sparkle-sparkle as I call it. Before Twilight the main theory why vampires could never walk into the sunlight was because they would turn into dust and die. I mean that's what happened in Blade and Underworld right? But in Twilight, the reason why they can't go into the sun is because they sparkle. Totally ruined my perception on vampires when I found that out. It ruined the image I perceived about vampires being majestic and noble people who loved to party at night and sleep during the day in their coffins.
Dakota Fanning. Before I start bagging her out, well not really, I thought the choice of her as Jane was an excellent choice, she has the pale skin and the bleach blonde hair to match Jane. Disappointment when I saw her appear on screen. Physically I thought she looked alright, but when she started talking I thought, ewww. The girl can't act either. And when she tried her power on Bella, her face looked so strange. It was like a mixture of constipation and drunk. I really hope she improves before the next films.
The werewolves. I was so looking forward to the werewolves and how they would put it off. At first I thought the werewolves would be much smaller, like the size of a fully grown German Shepard. But noooooo! They are pretty big, which I guess matches their strength and all. The CGI was good, yet I was overall disappointed in the wolves. Not enough of them in the film and in the little fight between Paul and Jacob, it was more of a blur rather than a fight.
Alright, now to the positives of the film. TAYLOR LAUTNER SHIRTLESS! Kidding. I shall try to think of other positives than Taylor =P. The Volturi. SPLENDID! The vampire equivalent to the government. AWESOME! Michael Sheen as Aro, awesome! He has that whole dominant/sly/creepy vibe going on. LOVE LOVE LOVE the red eyes. From reading the book my first image of Aro was an old man, hunched back sitting in his throne looking over his minions. But, he actually looked, young. And the blonde one on his left, I am not sure which one it is, I think its Caius, but he looks good too. From memory he is boy from Sweeney Todd, forgot his name, the annoying dude who kept singing that lame song.
I know I said the wolves were lame and all, but the wolves as a whole, the wolf pack were awesome! With the awesome matching tattoos, matching brown shirts, matching shorts, matching cropped hair, the idea of the wolf pack makes me happy. Gotta love them wolves. Paul is great, matches the character exactly and when I look at Sam he looks more of a Maori decent rather than a Native American decent, but still Sam does show that whole Alpha dog role. Yet as most of us know, Sam technically, isn't the Alpha male ;).
Well thats my breakdown of New Moon. Overall, if I were to give a rating out of 5 stars for new moon, I give it 2 stars.
xoxo
So back to Twilight/New Moon and my opinion of it. I personally disliked it. I didn't hate it, there were a couple of things here and there that caught my eye (and yes, one of them was Taylor Lautner shirtless. It's funny that after the movie was released a facebook page was devoted to Taylor Lautner shirtless, obsessed much?). I shall start with the negatives.
First off, the acting. Kristen Stewart is in my opinion one of the worst actresses in the world. Despite the fact that she looks like a genetically modified rat that was dipped in toxic waste, her acting was atrocious. What was with the abnormal screams? I mean I get she's having nightmares and all, but in all honesty who screams like that in real life? And is it even possible to scream like that in your sleep? I wouldn't know, but still, what is up with that? She did it in the first film too, when she was bitten by James and the "venom" was beginning to circulate her system and she started that random spasm of screams. Seriously woman, be realistic here.
Dialogue. OMG! How corny and stupid are the things these people say. Kids may not understand it, but people my age can feel my pain. For example, I know this was highly unintended (or was it ;)), but in the scene in the forest when Edward is informing Bella he is leaving Forks/Vancouver, Bella tells him, "I'm coming" and Edward replies with, "I don't want you to come". Know I am not the one who thought of this first, blame a wise friend of mine, but if you get me, "come" .............. Yes I know it's lame, but I wasn't the first person to notice it. I noticed it because someone else told me about it. Another line I felt was completely stupid, Bella to Jacob when she falls over the bike, "You are sorta beautiful". Ok, two things I find wrong here. It's not really wrong, I just find it so weird its just not mean't to be said. One, sorta? How can someone be sorta beautiful? If you intend to compliment someone, you wouldn't dumb it down. And the last thing, beautiful. I get it if he said it to her, but she said it to him. Beautiful is such a better word than "hot", but I just find it weird for a girl to be calling a guy beautiful. A more appropriate word would have been handsome, appealing or even attractive. I don't know, most people would have no problem with it, but I just find it highly odd. There was another line I thought was funny, I liked it.
'Age is just a number baby"
It's cute indeed =D, God bless you Jacob Black. All the Romeo and Juliet references really ticked me off. EVERY teen movie uses the same story, boy likes girl, girl likes boy, not mean't to be together, cry cry cry. And I guess its Stephanie Meyers fault for that, no offence.
Moving onto Robert Pattinson/Edward. Is it me, but does he look weird in New Moon? I thought he was quite "appealing" in the first film. But in New Moon, he looked WAAAAAAAAAAY to white. It was like they made him dive in a pool full of baby powder before he started filming. For a "beautiful" vampire, he sure didn't look "beautiful". And the sparkle-sparkle as I call it. Before Twilight the main theory why vampires could never walk into the sunlight was because they would turn into dust and die. I mean that's what happened in Blade and Underworld right? But in Twilight, the reason why they can't go into the sun is because they sparkle. Totally ruined my perception on vampires when I found that out. It ruined the image I perceived about vampires being majestic and noble people who loved to party at night and sleep during the day in their coffins.
Dakota Fanning. Before I start bagging her out, well not really, I thought the choice of her as Jane was an excellent choice, she has the pale skin and the bleach blonde hair to match Jane. Disappointment when I saw her appear on screen. Physically I thought she looked alright, but when she started talking I thought, ewww. The girl can't act either. And when she tried her power on Bella, her face looked so strange. It was like a mixture of constipation and drunk. I really hope she improves before the next films.
The werewolves. I was so looking forward to the werewolves and how they would put it off. At first I thought the werewolves would be much smaller, like the size of a fully grown German Shepard. But noooooo! They are pretty big, which I guess matches their strength and all. The CGI was good, yet I was overall disappointed in the wolves. Not enough of them in the film and in the little fight between Paul and Jacob, it was more of a blur rather than a fight.
Alright, now to the positives of the film. TAYLOR LAUTNER SHIRTLESS! Kidding. I shall try to think of other positives than Taylor =P. The Volturi. SPLENDID! The vampire equivalent to the government. AWESOME! Michael Sheen as Aro, awesome! He has that whole dominant/sly/creepy vibe going on. LOVE LOVE LOVE the red eyes. From reading the book my first image of Aro was an old man, hunched back sitting in his throne looking over his minions. But, he actually looked, young. And the blonde one on his left, I am not sure which one it is, I think its Caius, but he looks good too. From memory he is boy from Sweeney Todd, forgot his name, the annoying dude who kept singing that lame song.
I know I said the wolves were lame and all, but the wolves as a whole, the wolf pack were awesome! With the awesome matching tattoos, matching brown shirts, matching shorts, matching cropped hair, the idea of the wolf pack makes me happy. Gotta love them wolves. Paul is great, matches the character exactly and when I look at Sam he looks more of a Maori decent rather than a Native American decent, but still Sam does show that whole Alpha dog role. Yet as most of us know, Sam technically, isn't the Alpha male ;).
Well thats my breakdown of New Moon. Overall, if I were to give a rating out of 5 stars for new moon, I give it 2 stars.
xoxo
Nov 9, 2009
pop art
"Pop art: style of art which incorporates elements of advertisement and items of mass culture, such as comic strips, newspapers or consumer goods."
Tonight I was frantically surfing through the many Foxtel channels available to me, and although it is not Foxtel, I ended up watching The Apprentice Australia. Todays episode revolved around selling artworks from "the heart". They had about four different artists to choose from, one was an Aboriginal artist, one was a landscape artist and two were pop culture artists. One of the artists was Ben Frost and the other one, was Shannon something, I forgot her name but I loved her work. The colours used were just brilliantly used to create this spectacular design. The other artist Ben Frost had interesting work. Quiet controversial and according to the guys on the Apprentice, very "niche".
I dont quiet understand art to be honest. From what I see, I tend to judge a book by its cover. I dont get how people "read" paintings and see what lies beneath. I just base my personal interest and liking into a painting. If I were some day to have my own house, I wouldn't mind having some of Ben Frost's artwork hanging from my walls. Surely wouldn't let little kids look at it, but I'd still like to have one.
Nov 7, 2009
The great escape
On the 5th of November 2009, six friends (including myself) experienced the most, frightening, exhilirating and best day of our lives (not literally, but you get the point).
The scene begins searching for a restaurant for my dear friends 19th birthday. After wasting our time and the waiters time in City Extra we settle for the Italian restaurant nearby named Silician. The place has a homely feeling about it. The smell of Italian food fills the air, the aura of everyone there. In front of us are these old ladies sitting and reminisce about the "good ole' times" and behind is are a family of five enjoying a nice dinner out. Despite the fact that there is some sort of pole dancing class upstairs, the atmosphere was amazing. The waiters; exceptional (in more ways than one), the food; BELLISSIMO, overall it was a lovely night sipping on wine (my first taste of wine) and laughing endlessly about life.
10.24pm, after the end to our feast, we venture back to the carpark. It was bad enough the carpark looked like it was on the wrong side of the neighbourhood and we were stuck in it, but after pressing the elevator button to send us upstairs and to the cars, we realise the carpark closes 8pm. We check the front and to our surprise, the gates have been locked. Panic rushes through each and every one of us, especially our youngest friend who still has one more HSC exam to go before freedom, highly ironic that it is an Italian exam.
Each of us stare at one another hoping we come up with some sort of idea to get the gate open. ALAS! A sign which says if we require assistance with taking our cars out, we must call this number and pay a fee of $100. Most of us begin to speculate the shifty-ness out this situation. Out of pure curiosity, I begin strolling around, hoping there is some sort of way out of this mess without paying the $100 fee. There is an intercom on one of the large pillars near the gate, not thinking I press the button and walk away, thinking it is some sort of alarm. Two seconds later ...
Hello?
An intercom! We are halfway there, not really. We each look at one another again, no one knows what is going on. We press the button once more, the same voice talks...
Hello?
Someone who can possibly save us. The voice is very difficult to co-operate with.
Yes, hello, we have cars stuck in this carpark, could you please open the gate for us so we can go home?
Voice: I'm sorry I cannot do that.
Why not?
Voice: because I am in the control room and the only people who can open the gates are the security.
Then can we please call the security to open the gates for us please?
Voice: I'm sorry they are asleep.
Excuse but there something you need to understand, we are six 18 year old's who need to get home right away. We have a curfew which is 11pm and if we do not get home by this time, we are in great risk of being fined by the police. So could you please bend the rules for us, just once.
Voice: I'm sorry I cannot do anything, its out of my control.
Okay so what do you have to do to get our cars out?
Voice: You need to pay the fee of $100 to get your cars out, and you must pay by credit card.
Okay, my name is ________ _________ and my mobile is __________.
Voice: and your credit card number?
Wait, what company do you work for?
Voice: I am in the control room
We know that, but what is the name of the company you work for?
Voice: I am in the control room
Alright, what's your name then?
Voice: I am not authorized to give out that information.
Okay then we need to get two cars out.
Voice: then that will cost you $200.
After about half an hour of negotiating that the sign by the gate says only $100 fee, not $100 per car, I again begin to stroll around. Our youngest friend calls her father who just so happens to work for a security company and knows nothing about this company, "Secure". Another sign indicating the shifty-ness of this situation. I hang onto the gate hoping something would miraculously happen as dear birthday boy deliberates with the mentally challenged fellow on the other end of the intercom. ALAS! The lock. The lock was suscipously left unlocked, thank goodness! I unlock the gate and open it, everyone looks slightly happier and with the adrenaline running through our system, we dash to our cars, three in each car and attempt to escape this hell. That was until obstacle one. How to get out with everyway shut off. Cars cannot fit in the gaps between parking spots or between the boomgates.
Attempt one, try to get out by lifting the boomgate. As two of our friends attempt to lift it, the same voice appears from the ticket machine
I wouldn't do that if i were you.
Creepy much? It was like some sort of Saw, crazy shit! Someone notices security cameras. "Hoods up" is our immediate reaction. As another friend acts as look-out he notices two strange people parked outside the carpark and entering the building.
SECURITY!!! RUN!!!
Six adults running crazily around the car park trying to find a new way to get out. As the drivers decide, maybe we should pay for our tickets? Miraculously the machine is on and the man on the intercom speaks once more...
Your license registration has been recorded on camera and if you break anything you shall be named liable.
Eager to get out, the driver waves goodbye and drives off in a rush out of the carpark with the others right behind. As we run back to the cars outside two of the people which were thought to be security enter, and we notice a thrid car in the distance.
Is that your car?
No.
Strange. I wait by the gate for the final car to drive past, leave it unlocked for the random strangers. FREEDOM! That is until I fall down on the slippery floor, flat on my ass. What an exit. We get back into the cars and speed the hell out of Parramatta. And that is the end of that chapter.
To anyone who reads this, DO NOT, I plead, DO NOT park your car in Parramatta, Hunter Street carpark. DO NOT!!!!
The scene begins searching for a restaurant for my dear friends 19th birthday. After wasting our time and the waiters time in City Extra we settle for the Italian restaurant nearby named Silician. The place has a homely feeling about it. The smell of Italian food fills the air, the aura of everyone there. In front of us are these old ladies sitting and reminisce about the "good ole' times" and behind is are a family of five enjoying a nice dinner out. Despite the fact that there is some sort of pole dancing class upstairs, the atmosphere was amazing. The waiters; exceptional (in more ways than one), the food; BELLISSIMO, overall it was a lovely night sipping on wine (my first taste of wine) and laughing endlessly about life.
10.24pm, after the end to our feast, we venture back to the carpark. It was bad enough the carpark looked like it was on the wrong side of the neighbourhood and we were stuck in it, but after pressing the elevator button to send us upstairs and to the cars, we realise the carpark closes 8pm. We check the front and to our surprise, the gates have been locked. Panic rushes through each and every one of us, especially our youngest friend who still has one more HSC exam to go before freedom, highly ironic that it is an Italian exam.
Each of us stare at one another hoping we come up with some sort of idea to get the gate open. ALAS! A sign which says if we require assistance with taking our cars out, we must call this number and pay a fee of $100. Most of us begin to speculate the shifty-ness out this situation. Out of pure curiosity, I begin strolling around, hoping there is some sort of way out of this mess without paying the $100 fee. There is an intercom on one of the large pillars near the gate, not thinking I press the button and walk away, thinking it is some sort of alarm. Two seconds later ...
Hello?
An intercom! We are halfway there, not really. We each look at one another again, no one knows what is going on. We press the button once more, the same voice talks...
Hello?
Someone who can possibly save us. The voice is very difficult to co-operate with.
Yes, hello, we have cars stuck in this carpark, could you please open the gate for us so we can go home?
Voice: I'm sorry I cannot do that.
Why not?
Voice: because I am in the control room and the only people who can open the gates are the security.
Then can we please call the security to open the gates for us please?
Voice: I'm sorry they are asleep.
Excuse but there something you need to understand, we are six 18 year old's who need to get home right away. We have a curfew which is 11pm and if we do not get home by this time, we are in great risk of being fined by the police. So could you please bend the rules for us, just once.
Voice: I'm sorry I cannot do anything, its out of my control.
Okay so what do you have to do to get our cars out?
Voice: You need to pay the fee of $100 to get your cars out, and you must pay by credit card.
Okay, my name is ________ _________ and my mobile is __________.
Voice: and your credit card number?
Wait, what company do you work for?
Voice: I am in the control room
We know that, but what is the name of the company you work for?
Voice: I am in the control room
Alright, what's your name then?
Voice: I am not authorized to give out that information.
Okay then we need to get two cars out.
Voice: then that will cost you $200.
After about half an hour of negotiating that the sign by the gate says only $100 fee, not $100 per car, I again begin to stroll around. Our youngest friend calls her father who just so happens to work for a security company and knows nothing about this company, "Secure". Another sign indicating the shifty-ness of this situation. I hang onto the gate hoping something would miraculously happen as dear birthday boy deliberates with the mentally challenged fellow on the other end of the intercom. ALAS! The lock. The lock was suscipously left unlocked, thank goodness! I unlock the gate and open it, everyone looks slightly happier and with the adrenaline running through our system, we dash to our cars, three in each car and attempt to escape this hell. That was until obstacle one. How to get out with everyway shut off. Cars cannot fit in the gaps between parking spots or between the boomgates.
Attempt one, try to get out by lifting the boomgate. As two of our friends attempt to lift it, the same voice appears from the ticket machine
I wouldn't do that if i were you.
Creepy much? It was like some sort of Saw, crazy shit! Someone notices security cameras. "Hoods up" is our immediate reaction. As another friend acts as look-out he notices two strange people parked outside the carpark and entering the building.
SECURITY!!! RUN!!!
Six adults running crazily around the car park trying to find a new way to get out. As the drivers decide, maybe we should pay for our tickets? Miraculously the machine is on and the man on the intercom speaks once more...
Your license registration has been recorded on camera and if you break anything you shall be named liable.
Eager to get out, the driver waves goodbye and drives off in a rush out of the carpark with the others right behind. As we run back to the cars outside two of the people which were thought to be security enter, and we notice a thrid car in the distance.
Is that your car?
No.
Strange. I wait by the gate for the final car to drive past, leave it unlocked for the random strangers. FREEDOM! That is until I fall down on the slippery floor, flat on my ass. What an exit. We get back into the cars and speed the hell out of Parramatta. And that is the end of that chapter.
To anyone who reads this, DO NOT, I plead, DO NOT park your car in Parramatta, Hunter Street carpark. DO NOT!!!!
Nov 3, 2009
The Dream
I've been having this dream lately, and every time I have it, it keeps getting more and more vivid. I thought I'd share it =)...
I've finished my second university degree, possibly in Veterianary or Tourism. I travel around the world a lot. Africa, South America, Thailand, China, Alaska. I go around the world researching and observing animal behaviour. I had just finish my whirlwind tour of the world looking at animals and telling people about them. The long trip from Alaska made me heaps tired and I was happy to be home for Christmas with my family and friends.
It's Christmas day and I come home to my house by the beach near Manly. Two storey beach home, glass windows, a freshly mowed green lawn and bikes scattered all over the front lawn. The car has been taken out of the garage and into the driveway, the hubby must have either taken the kids bike riding around Manly or just took the kids home from soccer. Either way I'm just happy to be home. I walk in, wooden floors, walls painted in midnight blue and in the backround I hear the little murmurs of five or six teenage girls talking about the latest fashion crazes and the boys at school in the living room. In the theatre the t.v is on and hubby is watching the basketball with the boys, like every Sunday afternoon. Downstairs in the garage I can hear the clattered and smashing of tools, my son must be working on his car he bought secondhand by some random dude he met at the wharf. There's an infusion of smells surrounding me. I can still smell the lawn clippings outside, from the kitchen I smell vanilla and strawberries; guessing someone (the hubby) got something burnt and tried to hide it with scented candles. Outside in the backyard, although I dont particulary like the smell, chlorine, the younger kids must be swimming on this hot day. It is way better than smelling animal poo for the past six months, any smell beats that. The BBQ is on; prawns, yummy. I had been living on leaves, fruits from trees or whatever the leader could hunt for dinner.
I take literally two steps into my home, and all four kids come running with open arms. Each of them talking over the other. The oldest one, my son (his name was Darien Mason) is overed in motor oil, wearing his worn out overalls, holding a wrench in this hand. The next according to age is my daughter (her name Desiree Leah), she smells like coconut. Looks like someone has been snooping through my closest lately. The two youngest my other son and daughter are wet and dripping from head to toe, they've been swimming and smell of chlorine. The girl was name Sadie Jaz and the boy was named Lucas Noah.
My dearest hubby has not risen from his seat to greet me. Seems like a pretty good game, so to annoy him I sat next to him hoping he would notice. Nope, some hubby. And two second later, TRY! He gets up screaming, I'm still on the couch staring at him, he looks down and finally recognizes me.
Outside in the backyard a mini-party has been set up. All my friends and family are outside eating lunch. Three dogs are in the running around in backround, one is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Pinkie, the other is an Alaskan Malamute named Finn, and the other dog struggling to keep up with the rest is a puppy, a black labrador named OJ.
The backyard is massive! Literally it extended for miles! Behind the pool and patio is an open rainforest filled with tall trees and native bushes. A hammock is laid out in between two of the tallest trees, and lying in the hammock asleep is my dear friend David (don't ask why he is there). In the pool Anna Min, Charmaine and Melissa are chilling by the side, soaking their feet and chatting about work and their plans for Christmas. Sitting down on the table sipping on their cocktails are Stefania with her husband, Christina with Richard and Michal with his fiancee, they are talking about their kids and the silly things they do. Krystel is on the grass with Jono and Neha playing with a baby, it's a girl and her name is Mercedes. She is learning to walk and Krystel is teaching her to say her name. Fail. Krystel hands the baby over to me (guessing it's mine =S) and the baby smiles. She has rosy cheeks and is wearing all pink. In the pool are several kids. One boy in the pool is wearing floaties and doggie paddling his way from one end of the pool to the next, from the back a parent yells, "GET AWAY FROM THE DEEP END NOAH!". I turn around and it's Michal rushing to save his son from the deep end. The two girls which were playing patty cake on the side of the pool belonged to Stefania and Krystel. The rest of the kids in the pool were all playing Marco Polo.
I hear Danica and Courtney talking to one of my hubby's friends in the backround. They're talking about some band and how he knows them and could possibly hook them up with tickets. Kanchan just walks in with her boyfriend. Kanchan puts a gift under my christmas tree and says its for my daughter Desiree. Her boyfriend goes downstairs to help Darien with the car. The christmas tree is massive!!! Literally almost nine or ten feet, either way it was standing near the stairwell, and right next to it was a fireplace. There were almost hundreds of presents under the tree, each wrapped newspaper (requested by me, no wrapping paper, must be environmentally friendly). There is a big one near the back, and it was shaped like a horse, a rocking horse for Mercedes I presume, it's got written on it:
"Dearest Mercedes, Merry Christmas, your mother insisted I do not get you a REAL horse, so I got you this one instead. Love, your Godmother Krystel"
On the other side of the tree was a big box, about half my height. I shake it just a bit, and I can hear little pieces underneath. A dollhouse for Serena, from her godmother, Stefania. There was one gift that was in two parts, it was definitely something soft underneath and on top was a box. I was a bit puzzled here. I took it, tried to shake it hoping I could figure out what it was. The front of the present said:
"Dear Darien, Merry Xmas, I know your dad hasnt' spoken to you about this, so I thought I'd jump the gun. Hope you and your girlfriend enjoy it ;). Open this in private, from your godfather Dayvee."
Condoms. I was actually happy David gave him condoms for some reason. I guess it was because my hubby didn't want to. Atleast he would be having safe sex, that would be a bit of a relief.
It's time to open the presents, everyone is gathered around the tree. All the kids and parents hand out their gifts, cameras are out and newspapers go flying everywhere. Darien finally comes from the garage with Kanchan's boyfriend. David gives his gift, giggling and smiling. I whisper to Darien, to not open it here in public, at least not the little box. The soft gift under the box was a grey cardigan. Mercedes tries to open her big box, Krystel tries to help but it seems liek Mercedes is most interested in the newspaper wrapping than the gift. Desiree is screaming thank you in the backround to her godmother Anna Min. IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE she keeps yelling. She screams again, this time to Kanchan, she gave her the wallet she wanted. All the happiness was getting to me, that I totally forgot my gifts to my own children. For Darien, plane tickets to travel around Europe with his girlfriend; for Desiree, hand-made jewelry from Africa and a brand new leather jacket; for Serena, it was some type of musical instrument, I think it was a custom made violin; for Lucas a new baseball bat and mit; and finally for Mercedes a necklace with her birthday and a picture of her father and I engraved in. (These kids must have been spoiled)
After this point I would usually wake up .. =S
I've finished my second university degree, possibly in Veterianary or Tourism. I travel around the world a lot. Africa, South America, Thailand, China, Alaska. I go around the world researching and observing animal behaviour. I had just finish my whirlwind tour of the world looking at animals and telling people about them. The long trip from Alaska made me heaps tired and I was happy to be home for Christmas with my family and friends.
It's Christmas day and I come home to my house by the beach near Manly. Two storey beach home, glass windows, a freshly mowed green lawn and bikes scattered all over the front lawn. The car has been taken out of the garage and into the driveway, the hubby must have either taken the kids bike riding around Manly or just took the kids home from soccer. Either way I'm just happy to be home. I walk in, wooden floors, walls painted in midnight blue and in the backround I hear the little murmurs of five or six teenage girls talking about the latest fashion crazes and the boys at school in the living room. In the theatre the t.v is on and hubby is watching the basketball with the boys, like every Sunday afternoon. Downstairs in the garage I can hear the clattered and smashing of tools, my son must be working on his car he bought secondhand by some random dude he met at the wharf. There's an infusion of smells surrounding me. I can still smell the lawn clippings outside, from the kitchen I smell vanilla and strawberries; guessing someone (the hubby) got something burnt and tried to hide it with scented candles. Outside in the backyard, although I dont particulary like the smell, chlorine, the younger kids must be swimming on this hot day. It is way better than smelling animal poo for the past six months, any smell beats that. The BBQ is on; prawns, yummy. I had been living on leaves, fruits from trees or whatever the leader could hunt for dinner.
I take literally two steps into my home, and all four kids come running with open arms. Each of them talking over the other. The oldest one, my son (his name was Darien Mason) is overed in motor oil, wearing his worn out overalls, holding a wrench in this hand. The next according to age is my daughter (her name Desiree Leah), she smells like coconut. Looks like someone has been snooping through my closest lately. The two youngest my other son and daughter are wet and dripping from head to toe, they've been swimming and smell of chlorine. The girl was name Sadie Jaz and the boy was named Lucas Noah.
My dearest hubby has not risen from his seat to greet me. Seems like a pretty good game, so to annoy him I sat next to him hoping he would notice. Nope, some hubby. And two second later, TRY! He gets up screaming, I'm still on the couch staring at him, he looks down and finally recognizes me.
Outside in the backyard a mini-party has been set up. All my friends and family are outside eating lunch. Three dogs are in the running around in backround, one is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Pinkie, the other is an Alaskan Malamute named Finn, and the other dog struggling to keep up with the rest is a puppy, a black labrador named OJ.
The backyard is massive! Literally it extended for miles! Behind the pool and patio is an open rainforest filled with tall trees and native bushes. A hammock is laid out in between two of the tallest trees, and lying in the hammock asleep is my dear friend David (don't ask why he is there). In the pool Anna Min, Charmaine and Melissa are chilling by the side, soaking their feet and chatting about work and their plans for Christmas. Sitting down on the table sipping on their cocktails are Stefania with her husband, Christina with Richard and Michal with his fiancee, they are talking about their kids and the silly things they do. Krystel is on the grass with Jono and Neha playing with a baby, it's a girl and her name is Mercedes. She is learning to walk and Krystel is teaching her to say her name. Fail. Krystel hands the baby over to me (guessing it's mine =S) and the baby smiles. She has rosy cheeks and is wearing all pink. In the pool are several kids. One boy in the pool is wearing floaties and doggie paddling his way from one end of the pool to the next, from the back a parent yells, "GET AWAY FROM THE DEEP END NOAH!". I turn around and it's Michal rushing to save his son from the deep end. The two girls which were playing patty cake on the side of the pool belonged to Stefania and Krystel. The rest of the kids in the pool were all playing Marco Polo.
I hear Danica and Courtney talking to one of my hubby's friends in the backround. They're talking about some band and how he knows them and could possibly hook them up with tickets. Kanchan just walks in with her boyfriend. Kanchan puts a gift under my christmas tree and says its for my daughter Desiree. Her boyfriend goes downstairs to help Darien with the car. The christmas tree is massive!!! Literally almost nine or ten feet, either way it was standing near the stairwell, and right next to it was a fireplace. There were almost hundreds of presents under the tree, each wrapped newspaper (requested by me, no wrapping paper, must be environmentally friendly). There is a big one near the back, and it was shaped like a horse, a rocking horse for Mercedes I presume, it's got written on it:
"Dearest Mercedes, Merry Christmas, your mother insisted I do not get you a REAL horse, so I got you this one instead. Love, your Godmother Krystel"
On the other side of the tree was a big box, about half my height. I shake it just a bit, and I can hear little pieces underneath. A dollhouse for Serena, from her godmother, Stefania. There was one gift that was in two parts, it was definitely something soft underneath and on top was a box. I was a bit puzzled here. I took it, tried to shake it hoping I could figure out what it was. The front of the present said:
"Dear Darien, Merry Xmas, I know your dad hasnt' spoken to you about this, so I thought I'd jump the gun. Hope you and your girlfriend enjoy it ;). Open this in private, from your godfather Dayvee."
Condoms. I was actually happy David gave him condoms for some reason. I guess it was because my hubby didn't want to. Atleast he would be having safe sex, that would be a bit of a relief.
It's time to open the presents, everyone is gathered around the tree. All the kids and parents hand out their gifts, cameras are out and newspapers go flying everywhere. Darien finally comes from the garage with Kanchan's boyfriend. David gives his gift, giggling and smiling. I whisper to Darien, to not open it here in public, at least not the little box. The soft gift under the box was a grey cardigan. Mercedes tries to open her big box, Krystel tries to help but it seems liek Mercedes is most interested in the newspaper wrapping than the gift. Desiree is screaming thank you in the backround to her godmother Anna Min. IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE she keeps yelling. She screams again, this time to Kanchan, she gave her the wallet she wanted. All the happiness was getting to me, that I totally forgot my gifts to my own children. For Darien, plane tickets to travel around Europe with his girlfriend; for Desiree, hand-made jewelry from Africa and a brand new leather jacket; for Serena, it was some type of musical instrument, I think it was a custom made violin; for Lucas a new baseball bat and mit; and finally for Mercedes a necklace with her birthday and a picture of her father and I engraved in. (These kids must have been spoiled)
After this point I would usually wake up .. =S
My second revelation?
I tend to have a lot of these revelations, and I dont know why. But recently I have been feeling a lot nicer and generous to people these days. Someone told me, that when they first met me, they thought I was very humble and kind, and as time grew between our friendship I suddenly grew out of my shell and exposed myself more to our relationship. The first thing I thought was, wow, people actually think I'm a kind and humble person and the second thing was, I wonder if i am think this way to everyone?
It kind of struck me yesterday that I've changed, and for the better. Alright so, at uni, we have this impossible lecturer, who I think is very lazy, inconsistent and unorganized. Anyway, he sets us this task to complete six sheets from a total of nine. And well he cancels one of the sheets, and doesn't bother to put up the remaining sheets to complete the compulsory six. Fair enough he has a lot on his plate, but thats not the point. So, pretty much days before the due date everyone is swapping answers and worksheets to complete the six, which was later reduced to five compulsory sheets. I feel everyone's pain, these sheets were NOT easy. You couldn't finish them in a day like some people intended to do. So pretty much, I offered to give my sheets to people who really needed them. Knowing me, I would have only offered one or two questions, or lie and say I didn't do the sheet they require. But this time, I loaned them the entire assignment, asking for nothing in return, just that they go to sleep early. Kinda strange isn't it?
There have been other incidents where I've been really nice to people who dont really necessarily deserve it, and situations where I've sort of become that shoulder to lean on. But I think the main source to all this kindness and generosity comes from my Resource Sustainability unit in uni.
In Resource Sustainability we learn about global warming, how it impacts on the planet and on human existence, invasive species, water, alternative sources to generate electricity, Al Gore and The Inconvienent Truth, blah blah blah. So I figure, it's not too long before something like that 2012 movie actually comes true. Maybe it will happen in 2012, maybe next year, maybe in the next decade, who knows? So my resolution is that, if something like that were to happen, why not make the most of my life now. There is no point in living your life in depression and misery claiming your life is worth nothing and that you're gonna die anyway, why live life to your full potential when your just gonna die. Honestly, thats a load of bull. Think about it ... your sixty years old, living in a nursing home, all alone. You can't walk, you need someone to carry you to the bathroom every time you need to pee, because you can't do it by yourself. You need to be spoonfed mashed up food because you don't have enough energy left in you to constantly chew and swallow. You at your photo album, old polaroid photos showing you on your first, second, third birthdays. And it keeps going until you reach twenty or so. You try to remember why has my life all of a sudden stopped? Then it hits you, it was because you spent your life from that point on hating on the world and yourself. Thinking, why can I not get a boy/girlfriend? Why can I never get a job? Why can't I ever make any friends? Why does my life suck so much? You start tearing up thnking about how stupid you were for thinking that way. Half your life gone down the drain thinking about how miserable life was and how lazy you were to make a difference; to actually do something with your life.
I definitely do not want to live my life that way. I figure, if I can help one person, just one. My life is on the right track. In anyway possible, emotional, physical, even environmental. Yesterday I yelled at my sister for having her laptop on whilst her other computer was on, and the fact that she never turns off the lights when she leaves a room.
I personally do want to become an environmentalist. Maybe not to the extreme where I become a vegan and what not. I'd love to travel around the world helping to build insurance populations of endangered animals and help to get rid of invasive/pest species. Living in a solar panelled house, with a backyard filled with native plants. Making my own compost. Three dogs running around in the backyard. Water tanks eveywhere. I think I'm getting ahead of myself now =P.
It kind of struck me yesterday that I've changed, and for the better. Alright so, at uni, we have this impossible lecturer, who I think is very lazy, inconsistent and unorganized. Anyway, he sets us this task to complete six sheets from a total of nine. And well he cancels one of the sheets, and doesn't bother to put up the remaining sheets to complete the compulsory six. Fair enough he has a lot on his plate, but thats not the point. So, pretty much days before the due date everyone is swapping answers and worksheets to complete the six, which was later reduced to five compulsory sheets. I feel everyone's pain, these sheets were NOT easy. You couldn't finish them in a day like some people intended to do. So pretty much, I offered to give my sheets to people who really needed them. Knowing me, I would have only offered one or two questions, or lie and say I didn't do the sheet they require. But this time, I loaned them the entire assignment, asking for nothing in return, just that they go to sleep early. Kinda strange isn't it?
There have been other incidents where I've been really nice to people who dont really necessarily deserve it, and situations where I've sort of become that shoulder to lean on. But I think the main source to all this kindness and generosity comes from my Resource Sustainability unit in uni.
In Resource Sustainability we learn about global warming, how it impacts on the planet and on human existence, invasive species, water, alternative sources to generate electricity, Al Gore and The Inconvienent Truth, blah blah blah. So I figure, it's not too long before something like that 2012 movie actually comes true. Maybe it will happen in 2012, maybe next year, maybe in the next decade, who knows? So my resolution is that, if something like that were to happen, why not make the most of my life now. There is no point in living your life in depression and misery claiming your life is worth nothing and that you're gonna die anyway, why live life to your full potential when your just gonna die. Honestly, thats a load of bull. Think about it ... your sixty years old, living in a nursing home, all alone. You can't walk, you need someone to carry you to the bathroom every time you need to pee, because you can't do it by yourself. You need to be spoonfed mashed up food because you don't have enough energy left in you to constantly chew and swallow. You at your photo album, old polaroid photos showing you on your first, second, third birthdays. And it keeps going until you reach twenty or so. You try to remember why has my life all of a sudden stopped? Then it hits you, it was because you spent your life from that point on hating on the world and yourself. Thinking, why can I not get a boy/girlfriend? Why can I never get a job? Why can't I ever make any friends? Why does my life suck so much? You start tearing up thnking about how stupid you were for thinking that way. Half your life gone down the drain thinking about how miserable life was and how lazy you were to make a difference; to actually do something with your life.
I definitely do not want to live my life that way. I figure, if I can help one person, just one. My life is on the right track. In anyway possible, emotional, physical, even environmental. Yesterday I yelled at my sister for having her laptop on whilst her other computer was on, and the fact that she never turns off the lights when she leaves a room.
I personally do want to become an environmentalist. Maybe not to the extreme where I become a vegan and what not. I'd love to travel around the world helping to build insurance populations of endangered animals and help to get rid of invasive/pest species. Living in a solar panelled house, with a backyard filled with native plants. Making my own compost. Three dogs running around in the backyard. Water tanks eveywhere. I think I'm getting ahead of myself now =P.
Oct 25, 2009
Disney X Rated ;)
So, waking up at noon on a Sunday is typically what happens in this household. Well for me at least. The first thing i usually do is eat some breakie, then go straight to the computer. My Windows Live Messanger usually always pops up and that "Today" window comes up too. I like to hear all these random tabloid stories that make no sense. But there was this one article that really got me going, it was titled "Disney's XXX secrets". I've only thought Walt Disney was a bit of a pedo or some sort of horny psycho, and this article just made me laugh.
And yet again, they've managed to kill the fun out of this "exciting" scandal. Apparently as you see in the other picture, its just his knees. Boring huh? Controversy makes things a lot more interesting in my opinion.
Alright, so the first picture they have in the gallery was a scene from Aladdin. And they claim that as Aladdin tries to sneak into the Princess's balcony, he says to the tiger Raja "Good teenagers, take off your clothes". I find that confusing, i dont understand why on earth he would be saying that to Raja, and why Aladdin is saying that using plural form "teenagers". Is there something else in this scene we dont see? What was really said was "Come on...good kitty, take off and go". Pretty much some horny adolescents misheard this and assumed the worse.
The next scandal, i know is diffently true. Does anyone remember in the Lion King, when Simba has grown up and slumps onto the edge of the cliff and beneath him a pile of dust flies into the night sky, and this strange, abnormal pattern appears? Well if you look closely and pause at the right moment, you can see the word SEX. Cool right? Most people who disagree with fact that it says SEX in the sky, claim it says SFX because they wish to keep the integrity of the film and all that Disney stands for, BULLSHIT!
One of my all time favourite Disney films was the Little Mermaid. There's many issues i find with the Little Mermaid, like for example, in the scene just after Ariel flees from the shore after saving Prince Eric and stares at him from afar on the rocks, does anyone notice how skinny Ariel is? I find that highly controversial, i mean is Disney trying to say that only skinny girls can land the guy? I have not seen a fat or above average sized woman in any Disney movie winning the Prince. Anyway thats not the controversy, the controversy here lies in the movie cover.
Now, i don't know if you can see that, or maybe I'm just a filthy adult, but to me, that figure within the castle looks a lot like a penis? Am i wrong? You can interpret that in any way you like, but i like my theory ;). The article then claims that the artist was completely unaware of the resemblance of the male genitalia, WHATEVER TREVOR!
Next theory was that the priest performing the wedding ceremony between Eric and Ursula in disguise was that the priest got a bit too "excited" if you know what i mean ;).
And yet again, they've managed to kill the fun out of this "exciting" scandal. Apparently as you see in the other picture, its just his knees. Boring huh? Controversy makes things a lot more interesting in my opinion.
I personally like this one, because apparently its actually true. Alright, the Rescurers, so far the oldest movie in the list so far. It says that when the two mice are flying around in their sardine tin airplane there is a woman who appears topless in the window as they pass by. And people claim us teenagers/adolescents are horny and disturbed from the things we do, pft!
The issue of nudity has no been addressed yet in Disney films, till now. In my personal opinion, i think Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Rodger Rabbit is a whore to being with. Stuff all the controversy about the film, the fact that she is in the film foxy red hair and amazing body figure raises the issue. She is absolutely the biggest whore in Disney so far. Anyway the issue here is that, when she gets thrown out of her car apparently her vag is shown because she aint wearing any underwear. Well, i havent really seen Rodger Rabbit in a long time, and its not like i look into that stuff, but this i feel isn't worth seeing. You must be desperate to freeze frame that scene over and over again just to see if it actually happens.
Racism is a controversial issue in itself. In the words of Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder "For four hundred years, the word has kept us down". If you havent watched Tropic Thunder yet, its the word Nigga. Apparently in a scene of Rodger Rabbit, Donald Duck is performing a duet with Daffy Duck on a black piano and Daffy is on the white piano, for obvious reasons there. But thats not the point, obviously the whole point of having them on coloured pianos is the crack up and i think it was misintended to offend anyone, but Donald supposedly calls Daffy a "nigga". Even though Disney was a psychotic nympho, i doubt he would add racist to his list of flaws.
The next one is from Pixar's Toy Story. Although its Pixar, not Disney this one is worth picking up. So apparently Mr. Potato Head tells Woody he is "Laser Envy" when Andy introduces Buzz to the rest of the toy crew. The "laser envy" theory dates back to Siegfried Freud's (i dont even know who it is, but i thought it was very clever) "Penis envy". You get the jist of it all, makes sense now huh?
I like Alice in Wonderland. I'm especially looking forward to the Tim Burton version with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. So they say that this movie is circulated around the aspect of drugs, that "going down the rabbit hole" is drug slang for let's take drugs and that retarded caterpillar is smoking something strange. What do you think? I mean, Alice does eat that mushroom and gets those weird illusions. I think the drugs aspect of it all was completely intentional. The whole point of Alice in Wonderland is that its a dream (well pretty much). Like an "imaginative journey" =P. The drugs aspect of it all just makes it sound more reasonable.
I never really liked Snow White. She isn't exactly the epitome of a Princess, and her Prince isn't exactly worth being called a Prince. What did he do to save her? Eric fought off a giant squid, Aladdin battled a massive snake and saved Jasmine from drowning in an hour glass. All Snow White's prince had to do was kiss her to wake up, LAME! Anyway, controversy here, the seven dwarves resemble the seven stages of cocaine addiction. If there were to be true, what would Doc mean? Well thank goodness, it isn't true, just someone trying to make everything dirty or controversial.
So thats my post for today =). Ciao
XOXO
Oct 17, 2009
"I feel the pain of everyone, now i feel nothing"
There are many advantages of having an older brother or sister. For example, depending on the size of your older sibling, you can borrow clothes. I always find that my sister has exceptional fashion sense. Another thing is that you can ask for advice on anything, school, boys/girls, life, pretty much whatever they've been through which you may be experiencing now.
I remember when I was about eleven years old, i just finished year 6 and i was on holidays. My sister just finished year ten and was about to start year eleven next door. I had the chicken pox which i caught from my niece who although was "recovering" from the pox hugged me and coughed on me in the car, thus transmitting the disease to me. I noticed something awfully strange about something "downstairs", and like the shy girl that i am, i said nothing. Mum finally realised something was up when i refused to sit down, lie down and always walked around the house sideways. She said, "turn around Sasha". At that moment she knew what it was and asked my sister to explain it to me. If you haven't caught my drift yet, you should know by now.
So i was in the CR, door locked and staring at this new "contraption". My sister on the other side of the door was saying, "peel the little tab looking thingy". And yeah, the rest i dont think i should describe =P. From that moment i finally realised what wisdom my sister had and how much i wanted to emulate her.
Your probably thinking, what relevance did my story have to whatever i'm on about. Well, like any factor in life, when you have advantages you must have disadvantages. And i think the MAJOR disadvantage of having an older sibling is ofcourse, the fact that your parents just LOVE to compare the two of you, in good ways and bad. For example, grades. I know thousands of people who are always compared to their older siblings based on their grades. "Why aren't you as smart as your brother?", "How come he got an award and you didn't?", "If you sister can get an A then you can definitely get an A". I guess it's sort of a motivation to prove to them you can do it, and that you can actually do better than your older sibling, but at the same time its kind of an insult.
I hate being compared to my sister. I'm fine with people saying that i look like my sister or she looks like me. Whatever, we're sisters, we're mean't to. But what i hate most especially coming from my own mother, is her constant nagging about physical appearance and weight. I mean i know i'm fat. I live my life everyday looking at all these skinny people in uni, blacktown, on the street, in magazines, movies, EVERYWHERE far out and thinking how the hell do they do it? And i hate it when skinny people call themselves fat. GET A FUCKING GRIP PEOPLE!!! you are not fat, you must be mentally screwed to think that you're fat.
Today my mum and sister went to blacktown today for grocery shopping and i stayed home to watch a video for a test. My sister comes home with all these new clothes and my mum followed her, i pretty much closed my room so that i could concentrate on my test and through the walls i could hear, "OH MY GOSH MONICA! You've lost so much weight! You look so skinny now." and even though this was in a quiet whisper i could hear my mum say "now it's Sasha turn to lose weight". I think my mum seriously does that to piss me off. She does it everyday! Everyday of my stinking, miserable life. She torments me about it, she constantly reminds me of the "apple of her eye" (my sister) and how much she would want me to emulate that. And even though i said i want to emulate my sister, i dont want to be EXACTLY like her. My mum just loves to get me depressed, it's like, thanks mum for your KIND and MOTIVATING words. GAH!!!! Sometimes having an older sister really pisses me off.
My sister knows how i feel about it all. Everytime my mum compares me to her, my sister changes the subject because she also knows what it's like to be compared and constantly poked out until they get the message. I mean she is my older sister. She's been there for me when no one else was. She helped me in my prepubescent days with the boys, the physical changes. She's always there to make me laugh. I really don't take the time to appreciate that or tell her that.
I remember when I was about eleven years old, i just finished year 6 and i was on holidays. My sister just finished year ten and was about to start year eleven next door. I had the chicken pox which i caught from my niece who although was "recovering" from the pox hugged me and coughed on me in the car, thus transmitting the disease to me. I noticed something awfully strange about something "downstairs", and like the shy girl that i am, i said nothing. Mum finally realised something was up when i refused to sit down, lie down and always walked around the house sideways. She said, "turn around Sasha". At that moment she knew what it was and asked my sister to explain it to me. If you haven't caught my drift yet, you should know by now.
So i was in the CR, door locked and staring at this new "contraption". My sister on the other side of the door was saying, "peel the little tab looking thingy". And yeah, the rest i dont think i should describe =P. From that moment i finally realised what wisdom my sister had and how much i wanted to emulate her.
Your probably thinking, what relevance did my story have to whatever i'm on about. Well, like any factor in life, when you have advantages you must have disadvantages. And i think the MAJOR disadvantage of having an older sibling is ofcourse, the fact that your parents just LOVE to compare the two of you, in good ways and bad. For example, grades. I know thousands of people who are always compared to their older siblings based on their grades. "Why aren't you as smart as your brother?", "How come he got an award and you didn't?", "If you sister can get an A then you can definitely get an A". I guess it's sort of a motivation to prove to them you can do it, and that you can actually do better than your older sibling, but at the same time its kind of an insult.
I hate being compared to my sister. I'm fine with people saying that i look like my sister or she looks like me. Whatever, we're sisters, we're mean't to. But what i hate most especially coming from my own mother, is her constant nagging about physical appearance and weight. I mean i know i'm fat. I live my life everyday looking at all these skinny people in uni, blacktown, on the street, in magazines, movies, EVERYWHERE far out and thinking how the hell do they do it? And i hate it when skinny people call themselves fat. GET A FUCKING GRIP PEOPLE!!! you are not fat, you must be mentally screwed to think that you're fat.
Today my mum and sister went to blacktown today for grocery shopping and i stayed home to watch a video for a test. My sister comes home with all these new clothes and my mum followed her, i pretty much closed my room so that i could concentrate on my test and through the walls i could hear, "OH MY GOSH MONICA! You've lost so much weight! You look so skinny now." and even though this was in a quiet whisper i could hear my mum say "now it's Sasha turn to lose weight". I think my mum seriously does that to piss me off. She does it everyday! Everyday of my stinking, miserable life. She torments me about it, she constantly reminds me of the "apple of her eye" (my sister) and how much she would want me to emulate that. And even though i said i want to emulate my sister, i dont want to be EXACTLY like her. My mum just loves to get me depressed, it's like, thanks mum for your KIND and MOTIVATING words. GAH!!!! Sometimes having an older sister really pisses me off.
My sister knows how i feel about it all. Everytime my mum compares me to her, my sister changes the subject because she also knows what it's like to be compared and constantly poked out until they get the message. I mean she is my older sister. She's been there for me when no one else was. She helped me in my prepubescent days with the boys, the physical changes. She's always there to make me laugh. I really don't take the time to appreciate that or tell her that.
Oct 15, 2009
Just an ordinary day
I was on my way home from the city one day, and in front of me was this boy. Looked like he was sixteen or seventeen, tall, blonde, surfie kind of dude, but it wasn't his looks that had me spell-bound. Like an express train to the western suburbs is, at peak hour everyone was sitting next to complete strangers, shoulder to shoulder (except me ofcourse, i wondered why, anyway..). So the boy was sitting next to a mother and her daughter, who was about the same age as he was. This mother and daughter were foreign, french i think it was. The mother and daughter were having a little argument on the train about something and the boy interupted them..
Boy: excuse miss, but is there something i can help you with?
Girl: does this train go to blacktown?
Boy: yes it does, what nationality are you?
Girl: I am french
Boy: can i ask a favour? how do you say "you are beautiful in french?"
And i sat behind them listening to their conversation. It was honestly the cutest thing you could ever imagine. And i was happy that the boy didnt refer to her as hot, the word beautiful isn't used much in our society. Beautiful just has more sincerity in it and it just makes a woman feel special. Most guys i know these day wouldn't bother with the word beautiful. That little conversation just made me smile, although i looked like a complete idiot on the train smiling at nothing, it certainly made my day. Just makes you think, who come guys these days dont use that type of language and sincerity towards girls. Most guys act like complete pigs, wolf whistling, saying "oh, i'd tap that ;)" or, "fahh, she's hot". Guys need to learn to be more polite and not superficial. Then again, i tend to do that sometimes with guys.
A part from that conversation, there was this one man on the bus home today who didn't make my day. It may sound stupid, but c'mon there are ways to prevent it. Theres this middle aged man waiting for the bus in Blacktown, i'm about 3 people away from him and out of no where i hear this hiccup sort of noise. I turned around and nothing was happening, so i assumed a little child was having hiccups and they were going somewhere else. So i got on the bus and i heard it again, i turned around and it was the middle aged man. At first i thought, it's nothing it will be gone soon. Ten seconds later another hiccup. And this is what annoyed me, its one of those hiccups you force out to make a big noise. Like there are ways to stop hiccups from making noise, like closing your mouth. And this guy went on and on and on making the noises over and over again. I was getting frustrated, what is he, like 2? I know its stupid, but i was highly annoyed. I tend to get pissed off a lot these days =)
Boy: excuse miss, but is there something i can help you with?
Girl: does this train go to blacktown?
Boy: yes it does, what nationality are you?
Girl: I am french
Boy: can i ask a favour? how do you say "you are beautiful in french?"
And i sat behind them listening to their conversation. It was honestly the cutest thing you could ever imagine. And i was happy that the boy didnt refer to her as hot, the word beautiful isn't used much in our society. Beautiful just has more sincerity in it and it just makes a woman feel special. Most guys i know these day wouldn't bother with the word beautiful. That little conversation just made me smile, although i looked like a complete idiot on the train smiling at nothing, it certainly made my day. Just makes you think, who come guys these days dont use that type of language and sincerity towards girls. Most guys act like complete pigs, wolf whistling, saying "oh, i'd tap that ;)" or, "fahh, she's hot". Guys need to learn to be more polite and not superficial. Then again, i tend to do that sometimes with guys.
A part from that conversation, there was this one man on the bus home today who didn't make my day. It may sound stupid, but c'mon there are ways to prevent it. Theres this middle aged man waiting for the bus in Blacktown, i'm about 3 people away from him and out of no where i hear this hiccup sort of noise. I turned around and nothing was happening, so i assumed a little child was having hiccups and they were going somewhere else. So i got on the bus and i heard it again, i turned around and it was the middle aged man. At first i thought, it's nothing it will be gone soon. Ten seconds later another hiccup. And this is what annoyed me, its one of those hiccups you force out to make a big noise. Like there are ways to stop hiccups from making noise, like closing your mouth. And this guy went on and on and on making the noises over and over again. I was getting frustrated, what is he, like 2? I know its stupid, but i was highly annoyed. I tend to get pissed off a lot these days =)
Oct 7, 2009
They wanted to know how things got to the way they are now. They called it “Experimental Procedures of the Psychotic Sub-conscience Mind of the Post-Adolescent Male.” Which was shorten in my terms to Project D, the fourth of my kind. Doctor Shipman was his name and Nancy Wright was hers. Seven hours a day silently watching their test subject. Writing notes, pretending to care, behind that tinted dark window. I didn’t see it as a problem at all. Unbelievable.
Orange mountains covered in the whitest snow unimaginable on any Alpine, Swiss or Himalayan mountain peak. Grass as green as the freshest produce on a spring morning. Unbelievable. The sea water, blue as blue, even bluer. Up from the mountain top, you could see the entire ocean floor, colourful coral even colours which may not have existed. Schools of fish creating a spectrum of rainbows. Unbelievable. And there she was, skipping happily in a white flowing gown. Hair blowing in the wind. She had lips as smooth as silk and as red as the poisonous apple you hear about in those stories. If only she was attainable. She turned her head around, blew me a kiss and dived into the ocean, I wouldn’t dare ever compare her to an animal, why degrade her, she the first rain drop of winter. So delicate, so gentle, so beautiful to observe. Unbelievable
“Doctor, what’s your analysis on him?” The doctor shook his head, wrote down more notes in his notebook and closed the door.
What was the girl up to? I had to find out. As is stood over the cliff’s edge where she gracefully leaped off, I felt the wind brushing against my pale cheek. I heard the cries in the wind calling me Steven, Steven, Steven. Tempting indeed. Slightly leaning over the cliff to see where the unattainable epitome of perfection was. Floating elegantly on the ocean’s surface. And it killed me, I wanted her so much. She wasn’t unattainable because she was taken, nor because she was “saving” herself, she was unattainable because like any males social problems, she was “out of my league”. I never even gave myself a chance, I never even chose to try. I simply gave up. Yet, I yearned to brush my hand on her velvet like cheek, wake up to her sweet flowery scent every morning, just to taste the forbidden fruit, just once. The sexual vibe enhanced me, energized me to do it. And off I went, feet first into the blue ocean, swimming among the millions of fish, dancing to the soothing sounds of the ocean around me. And there she was. Unbelievable. Just as any movie or children’s book would describe. She looked like a living mermaid, hair red unlike any other shade, lips pierced with the darkest shade of red. I could just imagine a pair of fins; green preferably, moving flowingly with the ocean current. Unbelievable.
Orange mountains covered in the whitest snow unimaginable on any Alpine, Swiss or Himalayan mountain peak. Grass as green as the freshest produce on a spring morning. Unbelievable. The sea water, blue as blue, even bluer. Up from the mountain top, you could see the entire ocean floor, colourful coral even colours which may not have existed. Schools of fish creating a spectrum of rainbows. Unbelievable. And there she was, skipping happily in a white flowing gown. Hair blowing in the wind. She had lips as smooth as silk and as red as the poisonous apple you hear about in those stories. If only she was attainable. She turned her head around, blew me a kiss and dived into the ocean, I wouldn’t dare ever compare her to an animal, why degrade her, she the first rain drop of winter. So delicate, so gentle, so beautiful to observe. Unbelievable
“Doctor, what’s your analysis on him?” The doctor shook his head, wrote down more notes in his notebook and closed the door.
What was the girl up to? I had to find out. As is stood over the cliff’s edge where she gracefully leaped off, I felt the wind brushing against my pale cheek. I heard the cries in the wind calling me Steven, Steven, Steven. Tempting indeed. Slightly leaning over the cliff to see where the unattainable epitome of perfection was. Floating elegantly on the ocean’s surface. And it killed me, I wanted her so much. She wasn’t unattainable because she was taken, nor because she was “saving” herself, she was unattainable because like any males social problems, she was “out of my league”. I never even gave myself a chance, I never even chose to try. I simply gave up. Yet, I yearned to brush my hand on her velvet like cheek, wake up to her sweet flowery scent every morning, just to taste the forbidden fruit, just once. The sexual vibe enhanced me, energized me to do it. And off I went, feet first into the blue ocean, swimming among the millions of fish, dancing to the soothing sounds of the ocean around me. And there she was. Unbelievable. Just as any movie or children’s book would describe. She looked like a living mermaid, hair red unlike any other shade, lips pierced with the darkest shade of red. I could just imagine a pair of fins; green preferably, moving flowingly with the ocean current. Unbelievable.
“Doctor he has been doing that for ten minutes. Should we do something?” The doctor simply shook his head, wrote in his notebook and closed the door.
She took my hand and we swam into the deepest blue of the ocean. The strain of the constant kicking to keep up with her pace did not bother me, for all I was concerned about was spending what may be the only time with her, to the best of my ability. No pain, no searing injury could ever withstand my yearn for her touch. As she held onto me corals of red, yellow and purple were visible. Fish of every possible colour were swimming by our side. Red with black stripes, blue with green spots and orange with yellow swirls. Unbelievable. Magic was what I called it. Unlike any Picasso or Da Vinci painting could ever portray. Simply magic. And this is just the fish. There she was floating a midst in the ocean. She took my face, observed it with those pearly white gorgeous eyes. Stroked her long unattainable fingers through my brown hair. She took those red lips of hers and kissed the one thing in this world that was attainable and for good reason. The eternal kiss of life. Unlike any other feeling or emotion, could ever top that. No grand final victory, or top marks in Biology exam, no state of emotion after jumping off the highest mountain in the world could top that my emotion. The emotion of love. Unbelievable.
“Doctor, I think its time we do something. It’s been half an hour. It’s like he’s on some sort of carefree, happiness, loopy drug! If you won’t do anything I will.” The doctor stared patiently at his subject, observed his every move, analysing his drug induced state, step by step. Not wishing to bother the subject.
She again took my hand and swam with me back to shore. The beach, oh how I miss it. The rough smooth sand which nestled between my toes. The soft breezy ocean air which flowed through my brown, now wet, curly hair. The sunlights rays struck my back and my pale white face. I never thought I’d see the day when I would become as dark as night. And it felt good. There she was again, she fell immediately to the sand, lay her head on my white chest and traced her finger down my chest. Drawing love hearts with her long index finger. This was paradise to me. Unbelievable.
“Doctor!”
As we lay, stretched out onto the warm sand, the girl unattainable in my imagination stood up. She walked gracefully across the sand to a point upon the rocks. Every step she took was like a mini dance. So elegant and so poised. She did not turn back once to look at the thing behind her which wanted her more than life itself, me. And I did not dare try to stop her.
Moments later, the girl stood on the ledge again. Everything went dark. The skies turned a dull and depressing gray. The ocean which sparkled a bright and mystical blue was now deadly blue. The waves which lightly crashed upon the shore were causing monstrous havoc near the rocks down below. The sound of the crashing waves were loud to the ear and sounded like screams of pain. And worst of all, the girl who know was facing me, was no longer gleaming white. Her skin turned a dreary dead-like tone, her pearly white eyes, immersed in tears and bloodshot. The white flowing dress she wore so beautifully was torn all over and stained with black markings.
“Doctor Shipman, you have five minutes to terminate this foul experiment or I shall inform the authorities. The boy is obviously in some kind of distress. Stop now.”
She stood by the edge scared. I dared not to come any closer to her. All I could do was stand and wait patiently on her decision, whatever she planned on doing. She closed her beautiful and tired eyes, shed her last tear and turned back to face the ocean. The powerful winds could not stop her. As I struggled to keep myself still to watch her, I could see the girl was as still as the tallest tree in the forest. I fell to the ground, now inches away from her beautiful body and inches away from the ledge where she stood lifelessly. I looked down and saw to my eyes, rocks. Piercing up from the ground and waves uncontrollable. I attempted to look up at her eyes, still closed. If it weren’t for her chest steadily increasing and decreasing that I would have thought she had died. I tried with all my effort and more to get onto my feet and save her. She opened her eyes once more, looked straight down at my distressed and confused face and took the final step into oblivion.
“Nancy, stop the experiment.” The doctor was still, in a calm tone, observing his subject, watching the boy behind the opaque glass throwing chairs, jumping off falls, banging the window and in tears.
“Inject somaxil and then terminate this experiment.” The doctor walked away and closed the door. The subject still psychologically unstable stood in the centre of the room, fixated on the window quietly whispering. His breath uneven and fists balled up.
“Melody, Melody, Melody. Lips as red as red. Wind blowing through her hair. Melody.”
She took my hand and we swam into the deepest blue of the ocean. The strain of the constant kicking to keep up with her pace did not bother me, for all I was concerned about was spending what may be the only time with her, to the best of my ability. No pain, no searing injury could ever withstand my yearn for her touch. As she held onto me corals of red, yellow and purple were visible. Fish of every possible colour were swimming by our side. Red with black stripes, blue with green spots and orange with yellow swirls. Unbelievable. Magic was what I called it. Unlike any Picasso or Da Vinci painting could ever portray. Simply magic. And this is just the fish. There she was floating a midst in the ocean. She took my face, observed it with those pearly white gorgeous eyes. Stroked her long unattainable fingers through my brown hair. She took those red lips of hers and kissed the one thing in this world that was attainable and for good reason. The eternal kiss of life. Unlike any other feeling or emotion, could ever top that. No grand final victory, or top marks in Biology exam, no state of emotion after jumping off the highest mountain in the world could top that my emotion. The emotion of love. Unbelievable.
“Doctor, I think its time we do something. It’s been half an hour. It’s like he’s on some sort of carefree, happiness, loopy drug! If you won’t do anything I will.” The doctor stared patiently at his subject, observed his every move, analysing his drug induced state, step by step. Not wishing to bother the subject.
She again took my hand and swam with me back to shore. The beach, oh how I miss it. The rough smooth sand which nestled between my toes. The soft breezy ocean air which flowed through my brown, now wet, curly hair. The sunlights rays struck my back and my pale white face. I never thought I’d see the day when I would become as dark as night. And it felt good. There she was again, she fell immediately to the sand, lay her head on my white chest and traced her finger down my chest. Drawing love hearts with her long index finger. This was paradise to me. Unbelievable.
“Doctor!”
As we lay, stretched out onto the warm sand, the girl unattainable in my imagination stood up. She walked gracefully across the sand to a point upon the rocks. Every step she took was like a mini dance. So elegant and so poised. She did not turn back once to look at the thing behind her which wanted her more than life itself, me. And I did not dare try to stop her.
Moments later, the girl stood on the ledge again. Everything went dark. The skies turned a dull and depressing gray. The ocean which sparkled a bright and mystical blue was now deadly blue. The waves which lightly crashed upon the shore were causing monstrous havoc near the rocks down below. The sound of the crashing waves were loud to the ear and sounded like screams of pain. And worst of all, the girl who know was facing me, was no longer gleaming white. Her skin turned a dreary dead-like tone, her pearly white eyes, immersed in tears and bloodshot. The white flowing dress she wore so beautifully was torn all over and stained with black markings.
“Doctor Shipman, you have five minutes to terminate this foul experiment or I shall inform the authorities. The boy is obviously in some kind of distress. Stop now.”
She stood by the edge scared. I dared not to come any closer to her. All I could do was stand and wait patiently on her decision, whatever she planned on doing. She closed her beautiful and tired eyes, shed her last tear and turned back to face the ocean. The powerful winds could not stop her. As I struggled to keep myself still to watch her, I could see the girl was as still as the tallest tree in the forest. I fell to the ground, now inches away from her beautiful body and inches away from the ledge where she stood lifelessly. I looked down and saw to my eyes, rocks. Piercing up from the ground and waves uncontrollable. I attempted to look up at her eyes, still closed. If it weren’t for her chest steadily increasing and decreasing that I would have thought she had died. I tried with all my effort and more to get onto my feet and save her. She opened her eyes once more, looked straight down at my distressed and confused face and took the final step into oblivion.
“Nancy, stop the experiment.” The doctor was still, in a calm tone, observing his subject, watching the boy behind the opaque glass throwing chairs, jumping off falls, banging the window and in tears.
“Inject somaxil and then terminate this experiment.” The doctor walked away and closed the door. The subject still psychologically unstable stood in the centre of the room, fixated on the window quietly whispering. His breath uneven and fists balled up.
“Melody, Melody, Melody. Lips as red as red. Wind blowing through her hair. Melody.”
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